Mike didn't make it home for Thanksgiving. This was the first holiday we have spent apart from each other. I got a text message from him yesterday while at school telling me we needed to talk. When I called him back he asked me if I was done for the day or if I had another class. I told him I had one more class, and he said to just call him back when I got out. I told him to just tell me what he wanted to say, and he dropped the bombshell. So, I'm crying in the stairwell in Harned Hall. I then call my mom and let her know that my plans for during the day have freed, and I have to go into class. And, I was doing a really bad job of trying to cover my emotions and as SOON as someone asked me what was wrong I turned into a waterfall.
I hate....HATE...absolutely HATE crying in front of strangers. It was so awkward.
But, it just sucked. Mike has been gone for 27 days. I miss him terribly. He is supposed to be home early tomorrow morning, and then our plans go back to normal. It can't get here soon enough.
I am thankful for still being alive.
I am NOT thankful for broken promises, missing people you love, end of the school year, bogged down and stressed out situations, an being sleepy.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
The Stressing
I'm pretty sure I should be crying. But, I think I am so stressed that I am shutting off the parts of my mind that are scared to deal with it, and instead I am in survivor mode.
I thought I had five papers to write, but found out I have six. I didn't know I a research paper for my art class to do. I am completely done with two of them. I am almost done with the rough draft for a third. I could possibly get away with saving one of them for Sunday night, one Monday, and the last one on Tuesday. We'll see how tomorrow goes. I have so many other things besides papers to do as well. I hope I get the most I can done tomorrow.
I am so tired. I am going to finish this rough draft and go to bed.
I usually always shower at night because I never wake up in time to take one in the morning, but for some freak reason, I have been waking up earlier than ever, so I know I'll have time tomorrow.
Mike was supposed to get home tomorrow night. Instead he won't be home until Thanksgiving day. And to boot, after he found that out, he ran into a situation that is going to make him even later on that day then he thought. So, he spends an entire month out to be home for Thanksgiving, but will only get to celebrate it for a half a day. This isn't at all what we expected.
I went to get him his ornament yesterday. Last year, Walmart had a really nice selection of all kinds of stuff. Well, the things I saw yesterday were pathetic. I ended up getting him a fish, because he likes fishing. I wanted something a little more special, but that will have to do. I also got him a gag ornament. Mike is into nascar racing. His favorite driver isn't one that is usually marketed in promotional items. But, I did find one of a driver he doesn't really like.
Is it Christmas, yet?
I thought I had five papers to write, but found out I have six. I didn't know I a research paper for my art class to do. I am completely done with two of them. I am almost done with the rough draft for a third. I could possibly get away with saving one of them for Sunday night, one Monday, and the last one on Tuesday. We'll see how tomorrow goes. I have so many other things besides papers to do as well. I hope I get the most I can done tomorrow.
I am so tired. I am going to finish this rough draft and go to bed.
I usually always shower at night because I never wake up in time to take one in the morning, but for some freak reason, I have been waking up earlier than ever, so I know I'll have time tomorrow.
Mike was supposed to get home tomorrow night. Instead he won't be home until Thanksgiving day. And to boot, after he found that out, he ran into a situation that is going to make him even later on that day then he thought. So, he spends an entire month out to be home for Thanksgiving, but will only get to celebrate it for a half a day. This isn't at all what we expected.
I went to get him his ornament yesterday. Last year, Walmart had a really nice selection of all kinds of stuff. Well, the things I saw yesterday were pathetic. I ended up getting him a fish, because he likes fishing. I wanted something a little more special, but that will have to do. I also got him a gag ornament. Mike is into nascar racing. His favorite driver isn't one that is usually marketed in promotional items. But, I did find one of a driver he doesn't really like.
Is it Christmas, yet?
Saturday, November 22, 2008
The Sensation
Oh Lawd!
So, I got my sleep schedule back on track and over corrected it. I have been getting up earlier than I ever have. Unfortunately, going to see Twilight at Midnight two nights ago kinda messed that up. Yesterday I went to take a nap to recover at around 4:30. I told Mike to wake me up in an hour, but he called at 7:30. I was a mean ole grump to him and he told me to sleep through the night. I barely remember this taking place. I just woke up at 5:00am. This stuff is nuts. The bad part is I told Jef I would hang out with him last night and never got back to him. I am a jerk.
In retrospect, I guess this works out alright. I have been working on homework like a mad woman this entire week to prepare for this weekend. Because Mike is coming home for four days and I have several papers due the day we get back from break, I have to do ALL of them this weekend. Yeah, five papers. So, I have spent an hour drinking coffee and interneting, but after I write this I will get started. It would be nice to make such a significant dent that I could take a break tonight and chill.
So, yeah I Twilight is finally here. Charlsie, Jackson, Jef and I went to see it at the midnight showing. We got coffee together before mostly to get the caffeine to stay alert. We didn't leave for the theater until 11:30 because we already had tickets. I had been texting Kashmir all day long and she told me at like 10:15 that she was already at her theater in Springfield. I thought she was entirely too early. So, we get there and the line isn't very long for seating and moving quickly and the whole time I was wondering why it wasn't such a big deal here. Well, as soon as we entered the actual theater I found out I was wrong.
It was packed.
We wanted to find four seats together, but this was almost impossible. We had to settle for four seats together on the VERY first row. I was so mad. SOOO MAD. Why didn't I just decided to get there like an hour earlier?? Instead, we had to sit in seats that hurt your neck. The screen is GIGANTIC and we are looking at it as if it is over our heads. Your head has to move and follow words as they extend over the screen. It was awful. But, I told myself "hey, atleast we're here and atleast we get to sit together- make the most of it!"
So, the lights dim and the crowd is going nuts as the previews come on. This kid comes up to us and kneels down and asks us if we like our seats. Of course we say no, and he tells us there are more seats available in another screen. My first thought it OMG YES!!! then my second thought is "what if this guy doesn't really work here and is tricking us for our seats?" So I ask him if he works there and he laughs and tells us he is a manager and just isn't in uniform. I decided to quasi-trust him and we walk out. As soon as I see someone in legit uniform I confirmed with them and he was telling the truth.
We got into the other theater and as we rounded the corner there was hardly anyone in there. It was so exciting- like we had conquered something.
I don't recommend that everyone go see this movie. I don't know what it is like to watch it from the perspective of someone who has never read the books. But, as a fan who loves the books so dearly as if they were my own children, this was the best movie I have ever seen. The best part of watching it was seeing these characters that I have fallen in love with come to life. Charlsie and I couldn't stop laughing through the whole things just because you got to see these places, ideas, people, jokes and you remembered reading about them. It was the best experience I have ever had watching a movie (save for the jerks behind us that kept talking).
Mike comes home in four more days!!!!
So, I got my sleep schedule back on track and over corrected it. I have been getting up earlier than I ever have. Unfortunately, going to see Twilight at Midnight two nights ago kinda messed that up. Yesterday I went to take a nap to recover at around 4:30. I told Mike to wake me up in an hour, but he called at 7:30. I was a mean ole grump to him and he told me to sleep through the night. I barely remember this taking place. I just woke up at 5:00am. This stuff is nuts. The bad part is I told Jef I would hang out with him last night and never got back to him. I am a jerk.
In retrospect, I guess this works out alright. I have been working on homework like a mad woman this entire week to prepare for this weekend. Because Mike is coming home for four days and I have several papers due the day we get back from break, I have to do ALL of them this weekend. Yeah, five papers. So, I have spent an hour drinking coffee and interneting, but after I write this I will get started. It would be nice to make such a significant dent that I could take a break tonight and chill.
So, yeah I Twilight is finally here. Charlsie, Jackson, Jef and I went to see it at the midnight showing. We got coffee together before mostly to get the caffeine to stay alert. We didn't leave for the theater until 11:30 because we already had tickets. I had been texting Kashmir all day long and she told me at like 10:15 that she was already at her theater in Springfield. I thought she was entirely too early. So, we get there and the line isn't very long for seating and moving quickly and the whole time I was wondering why it wasn't such a big deal here. Well, as soon as we entered the actual theater I found out I was wrong.
It was packed.
We wanted to find four seats together, but this was almost impossible. We had to settle for four seats together on the VERY first row. I was so mad. SOOO MAD. Why didn't I just decided to get there like an hour earlier?? Instead, we had to sit in seats that hurt your neck. The screen is GIGANTIC and we are looking at it as if it is over our heads. Your head has to move and follow words as they extend over the screen. It was awful. But, I told myself "hey, atleast we're here and atleast we get to sit together- make the most of it!"
So, the lights dim and the crowd is going nuts as the previews come on. This kid comes up to us and kneels down and asks us if we like our seats. Of course we say no, and he tells us there are more seats available in another screen. My first thought it OMG YES!!! then my second thought is "what if this guy doesn't really work here and is tricking us for our seats?" So I ask him if he works there and he laughs and tells us he is a manager and just isn't in uniform. I decided to quasi-trust him and we walk out. As soon as I see someone in legit uniform I confirmed with them and he was telling the truth.
We got into the other theater and as we rounded the corner there was hardly anyone in there. It was so exciting- like we had conquered something.
I don't recommend that everyone go see this movie. I don't know what it is like to watch it from the perspective of someone who has never read the books. But, as a fan who loves the books so dearly as if they were my own children, this was the best movie I have ever seen. The best part of watching it was seeing these characters that I have fallen in love with come to life. Charlsie and I couldn't stop laughing through the whole things just because you got to see these places, ideas, people, jokes and you remembered reading about them. It was the best experience I have ever had watching a movie (save for the jerks behind us that kept talking).
Mike comes home in four more days!!!!
Monday, November 17, 2008
The weak and the weary
My sleep schedule keeps wavering and nothing I do seems to get it back on track. It happened Wednesday night. I met Jackson for coffee after midnight. Fueled by too much coffee, I was unable to sleep and stayed up late doing homework. The next day I didn't wake up until 6:30 in the evening. To try to fix this I stayed up all night and went to school on no sleep on Friday. My plan was to stay up until an appropriate bed time that night. Well, I ended up taking a nap in the middle of the day and staying up until 10am on Saturday. Then on Saturday I slept from 10am to 1pm and made a plan to go to sleep around 10 that night. Didn't get to sleep until 3am-ish and woke up this afternoon at 4:30.
YIKES...now it is almost 12:30- I have a bit of reading left to do before I can go to bed again. I just want to correct this. I feel like this week has gone by so fast at the wrong time.
However, through all of it: I did some exercising, got more homework done, spent quality time with Jackson and Jef, got a pumpkin spice latte, and watched 3 movies.
Definitely, Maybe was REALLY good. Must Love Dogs was very enjoyable. Made of Honor was ok.
I also made of list of everything I am getting Mike for Christmas and added the links to where to buy it, so I don't have to worry with all that anymore, just the actual buying. And, Mike and I made a list of everything to get his family....so just mine to go.
I need to go shopping and get mike some Christmas tree ornaments. I have a ton that I collected as a child and my mom still gives me new ones each year, but Mike never had any of his own. This will be our third Christmas living together and I have been trying to build up his collection since. I want to surprise him with some new ones when he gets home. Then, I need to make a list of everything we are going to need for our Thanksgiving/Christmas extravaganza.
I tried to register for next semester about 30 minutes ago (when it was finally available for me to do so) and it told me I have a damned hold on my account. I hope by the time I can take care of it, my classes will still be open.
YIKES...now it is almost 12:30- I have a bit of reading left to do before I can go to bed again. I just want to correct this. I feel like this week has gone by so fast at the wrong time.
However, through all of it: I did some exercising, got more homework done, spent quality time with Jackson and Jef, got a pumpkin spice latte, and watched 3 movies.
Definitely, Maybe was REALLY good. Must Love Dogs was very enjoyable. Made of Honor was ok.
I also made of list of everything I am getting Mike for Christmas and added the links to where to buy it, so I don't have to worry with all that anymore, just the actual buying. And, Mike and I made a list of everything to get his family....so just mine to go.
I need to go shopping and get mike some Christmas tree ornaments. I have a ton that I collected as a child and my mom still gives me new ones each year, but Mike never had any of his own. This will be our third Christmas living together and I have been trying to build up his collection since. I want to surprise him with some new ones when he gets home. Then, I need to make a list of everything we are going to need for our Thanksgiving/Christmas extravaganza.
I tried to register for next semester about 30 minutes ago (when it was finally available for me to do so) and it told me I have a damned hold on my account. I hope by the time I can take care of it, my classes will still be open.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
The Bragging Rights
School is pretty awesome when you get a test and a paper back and make A's on both.
Sup? I'm braggin.
I am really proud of myself. For the longest time I went from thinking that I was never going to succeed in school, to thinking I got control over the situation but wouldn't be anything other than an average student, to discovering that I can be on the top. I think now that I found a comfort zone within my department, I found the confidence to excel.
I was telling someone earlier, that it sucks that it took me so long to feel like I belonged in the English department and get to know people, and now I only have one literature class left, so next semester I will deal with nothing but the Education department, where I know hardly anyone. But, I think I will have an easier transition now that I know how to do it. Isn't this sad? Why do I have to be so awkward!?!?!!?
I took a really painful nap on the couch this afternoon and woke up several times in pain because I was sleeping on the bar in the middle- but I was so tired that I couldn't wake up long enough to move.
I really wish I could write a long entry on all the exciting things happening in my life, but it's been pretty normal the past couple days. School, homework, sleep, excessive amounts of television.
Sup? I'm braggin.
I am really proud of myself. For the longest time I went from thinking that I was never going to succeed in school, to thinking I got control over the situation but wouldn't be anything other than an average student, to discovering that I can be on the top. I think now that I found a comfort zone within my department, I found the confidence to excel.
I was telling someone earlier, that it sucks that it took me so long to feel like I belonged in the English department and get to know people, and now I only have one literature class left, so next semester I will deal with nothing but the Education department, where I know hardly anyone. But, I think I will have an easier transition now that I know how to do it. Isn't this sad? Why do I have to be so awkward!?!?!!?
I took a really painful nap on the couch this afternoon and woke up several times in pain because I was sleeping on the bar in the middle- but I was so tired that I couldn't wake up long enough to move.
I really wish I could write a long entry on all the exciting things happening in my life, but it's been pretty normal the past couple days. School, homework, sleep, excessive amounts of television.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
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