The New

I finally got all of my grades today:
Art Appreciation A
American Lit II A
Expository Writing A
Modern Southern Fiction A
German B
British Lit II B

I did it. I finally made the Dean's List again, after failing to do so last semester. I had all A's and B's in the Spring except for in American Lit I...I made a C. My professor was Dr. Steven Ryan and I had him again for the second installment this semester. I also had him in the fall of 2006 for World Literature and also made a C. After the first time I had him, I got mad about my grade and blamed him. I told everyone he was unreasonable and an unfair grader. I had to take him again for the American Lit and experienced a similar tale. At the beginning of the semester I told Mike I wasn't expecting to do well in his class, but I was "determined" to try hard. I did horribly on his daily quizzes that I felt were impossible. He asked for ridiculous details in the readings. I wrote "excellent" papers that he refused to to see the brilliance in. After making the same grade in his class twice I mulled over it all summer long, knowing I had to take him again. I started out feeling defeated, before the semester even started. But, then I made a pact with myself- that for once I was going to succeed at something that seemed impossible. I realized that while I thought his quizzes were impossible- I wasn't paying enough attention to, finishing or even doing the assigned reading. I went back and read over my past papers in his class- and they were awful. I had no idea what I was even talking about. I promised myself that I would do EVERYTHING I had to do to make an A in his class: miss as little class as possible, take excruciatingly detailed notes (every word that came out of his mouth), read all of the readings start to finish and start over if I started daydream and re-read anything I didn't understand, and figure out how to write the best papers I could possibly write for him. Our first grade in his class was an in class essay. I felt ready and confident for it, but still worried that my confidence wasn't real. When I got the test back, my hands were shaking. I bypassed all of the notes he made in the margins and went straight to the last page looking for my grade and I got an A. That test is currently hanging on my fridge. I kept going strong, and I did it. I proved to myself that it could be done. It was never him. It was me all along. I beat myself.

As far as my other classes. I am elated. I mean really- I have gone for so long believing that I wasn't smart enough to do this. But, I can. Like, even in my southern fiction class- an upper division class I didn't speak in there for over a month, because I felt that I wasn't on the same page as everyone else. But, I busted my butt this semester and it paid.

Today if the weather permits I am going to Baptist hospital for the birth of my niece. That feels weird to say. I guess TECHNICALLY by law she isn't related to me until May...but she will be. Mike's brother and sister-in-law are scheduled for a cesarean. Her name will be Molly Sue McFadden and I am really excited for her arrival. It's weird that getting married to someone brings these instant family members. I will be an aunt to two children. (Mike has a ten year old niece from his sister) Noone in my immediate family has any children and only two people that are really close to me have ever had children. One is my cousin and she didn't give birth here, and I rarely see her. The other is Jeannette who gave birth this past summer and I haven't even met her daughter yet. So, this is the first birth that I will get to be at the hospital for. I've never even seen a newborn in real life. And, to be honest. I think I have held, maybe 3 babies in my lifetime. This is all really new for me.

I only have 9 more episodes until I am finished with Lost. Then I can FINALLY finish reading the last Twilight book and then move on to greater and better things.