The (25th) Birthday

All in all I had a pretty awesome holiday. I spent a lot of time with family and enjoyed some laughs. At times though I wasn't getting much sleep and I became slightly irritable through out it all, but- over all: good holiday. I got too many presents. I am very fortunate. I got several things I wanted, some things I didn't expect to get, and some things I didn't know I wanted.

I'm pretty exhausted from all the activity, and I don't really care to take the time to go into details. Bottom line- Christmas was celebrated.

Well, as I have mentioned before, my birthday is Sunday. I will be 25 years old. Every year since I was 17 years old, I made a list of good memories from that year. What started as a spur of the moment reflection has grown into a long standing tradition. I have butterflies in my stomach right now as i type this. Here goes:

24 Things I Liked About Being 24

1. getting engaged- obviously. I don't know about you, but there were so many times in my life when I doubted if I would ever get the chance to get married...then I started to doubt if Mike was ever going to get around to asking me...but he did...and it was one of the best moments of my life

2. television...yeah...lame...but, this year has been a big year for TV for me. I completed watching the Gilmore Girls seasons this year along with: The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, and Lost...I started Stargate SG-1...I also follow several tv shows every day. Again, I know that to most people this would sound really silly...but I really like tv.

3. Twilight. This series has become one of my very most favorite and I have enjoyed sharing that with both Kashmir and Charlsie...and getting to go see the movie on opening night at midnight. I feel like a teenager again when I wrapped up in the goingson of Bella's life

4. Goldfinger show in St. Louis. I went with Ryan and Judy in July. It was one of the first times I really got to have much one on one time with Judy and we had a pretty good time. When Goldfinger started playing we managed to stay together and found our way up front-ish row and a little offset so we weren't being drifted away by the mosh pit. I could be wrong, but I am pretty sure at one time I made eye contact with the lead singer...but I could be making this up. My only complaint was that their set was extrememly short- but they made up for it by playing really good songs.

5. Getting Zoe...Jeannette moved to Texas in March and when she left, Mike and I got Zoe. It has been an extreme joy having her in my life. I feel so much safer in my house and I enjoy the companionship...she is extremely well behaved, I couldn't have asked for anyone better!

6. all of my achievements in school this semester- I have run on and on about them too many times already...so I will stop there

7. Weezer's new album this year...it is amazing...my favorite track is called Dreamin'....check it out

8. Mike's two month vacation...after having him gone on the road for weeks at a time, it was really nice remembering how normal and comfortable it is having him around. We had lots and lots of fun this summer...I wish he could be home everyday

9. scheduled date nights....mike and I made it a point to do this every so often...aleast once a month....just to do something romantic to celebrate being with each other...I have had a lot of fun doing this tradition and I hope it keeps going

10. board games...we love them...I love nothing more than getting together with a group of friends and playing games...this year I have learned how to play buzz word, scrabble, backgammon and many more

11. Jef coming home from Iraq...he was gone for 14 months....it was a long time and a struggle not having him here, I was so happy for his safe return home

12. Kashmir's visit in August....I hadn't seen her in several years before this and I had started to believe it would never happen again...I was sooo ecstatic for her to come home for a visit...sometimes, it's like things never change, we picked right back up from where we left off...I love her like a sister

13. election night...it felt so good to be apart of something so much bigger than myself

14. the 48 hour film festival...I was very fortunate to have a bigger role than last year...I got to be apart of the writing portion and I did some extra things for the shooting...I really felt like we were making a movie and I was very proud of Ryan's result. We won best in our genre (horror) and that was good enough for me

15. Dirty Dancing Movie in the Park...it was the first time I saw that movie...a group of us including Jackson and Nik went to cenntinal park in Nashville...it was such a good venue to see a movie in...the crowd was totally into it...there was cheering and booing...a good all around experience

16. Sex and the City Night...on the night of the premier of the movie me and my friend jessica and a friend of hers went to see the midnight showing. we went to the cheesecake factory before hand and got cosmos...of course...I really like doing special outings like that

17. starting a new blog...it feels really good having an official "home" for my writings...it's kind of a goal for myself to write as much as possible to nurture that need within myself...I may not write every day or even every week....but I love knowing I have a place special for this to do it

18. lunch trays....i started eating my meals on these lunch trays I have...I did it for dietary reasons and for the aesthetic reasons as well...it gives me an excuse to eat healthier foods and to take neat pictures

19. mending relationships....this year I have tried to sew up my loose ends in life...I had a brief period when Nik and I stopped talking...but we patched things up...and I made peace with Jackie and my friend Stephanie...I haven't seen either of them in person since....but I like knowing that negativity isn't out in the world anymore...I also like knowing that if anything were to happen...they both know I still care about them

20. the anticipation of going to Rome....my parents revealed to my this year that for my graduation present in the summer of 2010 that they would take me and Mike with them to Rome...I am so excited to get to go...I will be able to see such a huge part of history and live out a dream I never thought would come together

21. the fall....it's my favorite season and I lived it up to the fullest I ever had...from decorating...to fall playlists...to Halloween celebrations...pumpkin carving...to haunted houses...Thanksgiving...pumpkin spice lattes...I did everything fall I could...it was a perfect season...with the most perfect tree in my front yard...

22. tiny litte burgers...I know that sound silly...but I recently discovered these tiny little burgers at Chili's...lemme say...I HATE krystals and white castle...onion steamed buns? GROSS!!!!! But, chilis have these tiny little burgers that are to die for...and I found them at OCharley's and even Burger King...they are some of my favorite foods

23. Jef's mini birthday road trip...in January for jef's birthday we went to see Johnny Cash's house and grave and then we topped off the evening with going to the Adventure Science center...it was fun getting a short get away and pretending we were kids again...

24. all the times...the laughter...the friendships...times spent with family...growing older...learning new lessons...proving new things to myself...coming out a winner on the otherside...concuring fears...strengthening myself...I have had an amazing year with amazing people...I couldn't have asked for anything better....

Happy Birthday to me

The young and the older

Well, I went to the hospital for the birth of my niece. The day didn't go as planned, though. I was supposed to meet Mike's sister at the interstate at 11:00. Mike called me at 9:00 am and told me he would wake me up again to get ready at 10. He forgot and didn't call until 10:45. So, he called his sister and explained and said I would meet them at 11:30 instead. I got up and rushed to get ready, but I was still running late. Ten minutes before I was supposed to meet them, I got outside and my car door was frozen shut. I got some water boiling in a tea pot and rushed outside to try to get it to thaw. I called Mike and he tried to help me on the phone get my car door to open. After pounding on the door jam and more water it still wouldn't open. Finally, I tried the passenger door and it opened, so I opened my door from the inside. Turns out, in my attempt to get in I think I pulled the handle too hard and completely broke it. It still doesn't work and I have to open my door from the inside- which is extremely embarrassing in public. When I can get away with it I have kept my window half down so I can reach inside, but I can't keep doing that.

Anyway, I took so long that his sister finally went on without me. Mike told me to just stay home, but I thought it was really important to go. So I drove myself, scared out of my mind that the roads were going to be bad, but they weren't.

I usually have a lot of anxiety about going somewhere I am not familiar with, but I made a promise with myself to try to find everything on my own without calling anyone for help. I found Baptist hospital with no problems because I knew the general direction, but I wasn't exactly sure where to enter or where to park. I drove around for awhile and found a parking garage. Luckily, the entrance it led me to was the right spot for me to be in. I entered on the 2nd floor and immediately found a map. It said the maternity ward was on the 7th floor. A short elevator ride took me right where I need to be. I went to the front desk and asked where Lisa was going to be and they told me she was being brought up to her room and gave me the room number to meet them up there.

As soon as I got to the room, Lisa was being wheeled in and Timmy (Mike's brother) was pushing Molly in a little cart. She is ADORABLE. She is really tiny and absolutely beautiful. Within seconds the rest of Mike's family came to join us. We visited for about 15 minutes and the nurse kicked us out.

I didn't get to stay for very long, but I am still glad I came- and I didn't want to be in the way, so I didn't mind leaving.

It was just really weird seeing a baby and thinking how brand new she was- how just moments ago she was in her mother's belly.

I took pictures, but I haven't had a chance to put them on my computer, yet.

Well, I have all of my Christmas shopping done for my family- but we haven't gotten Mike's family, yet. Hopefully I will finish up on Monday. This year is going by too fast. How is Christmas a week away?

Nik called me up on Wednesday. Her mother is in the hospital. I'm worried. Her mother has cancer and is in the hospital with pneumonia. Then, today she had a mild heart attack. They moved her to the cardiac ICU and she is barely breathing on her own. I told Nik to keep my updated with everything. I don't know the right thing to say to her. I can't say everything is going to be ok, because I don't know. I can't tell her not to worry, because she is going to anyway. If things get really bad though, I'm going to drive the three hours up there. I hope I don't have to.

The New

I finally got all of my grades today:
Art Appreciation A
American Lit II A
Expository Writing A
Modern Southern Fiction A
German B
British Lit II B

I did it. I finally made the Dean's List again, after failing to do so last semester. I had all A's and B's in the Spring except for in American Lit I...I made a C. My professor was Dr. Steven Ryan and I had him again for the second installment this semester. I also had him in the fall of 2006 for World Literature and also made a C. After the first time I had him, I got mad about my grade and blamed him. I told everyone he was unreasonable and an unfair grader. I had to take him again for the American Lit and experienced a similar tale. At the beginning of the semester I told Mike I wasn't expecting to do well in his class, but I was "determined" to try hard. I did horribly on his daily quizzes that I felt were impossible. He asked for ridiculous details in the readings. I wrote "excellent" papers that he refused to to see the brilliance in. After making the same grade in his class twice I mulled over it all summer long, knowing I had to take him again. I started out feeling defeated, before the semester even started. But, then I made a pact with myself- that for once I was going to succeed at something that seemed impossible. I realized that while I thought his quizzes were impossible- I wasn't paying enough attention to, finishing or even doing the assigned reading. I went back and read over my past papers in his class- and they were awful. I had no idea what I was even talking about. I promised myself that I would do EVERYTHING I had to do to make an A in his class: miss as little class as possible, take excruciatingly detailed notes (every word that came out of his mouth), read all of the readings start to finish and start over if I started daydream and re-read anything I didn't understand, and figure out how to write the best papers I could possibly write for him. Our first grade in his class was an in class essay. I felt ready and confident for it, but still worried that my confidence wasn't real. When I got the test back, my hands were shaking. I bypassed all of the notes he made in the margins and went straight to the last page looking for my grade and I got an A. That test is currently hanging on my fridge. I kept going strong, and I did it. I proved to myself that it could be done. It was never him. It was me all along. I beat myself.

As far as my other classes. I am elated. I mean really- I have gone for so long believing that I wasn't smart enough to do this. But, I can. Like, even in my southern fiction class- an upper division class I didn't speak in there for over a month, because I felt that I wasn't on the same page as everyone else. But, I busted my butt this semester and it paid.

Today if the weather permits I am going to Baptist hospital for the birth of my niece. That feels weird to say. I guess TECHNICALLY by law she isn't related to me until May...but she will be. Mike's brother and sister-in-law are scheduled for a cesarean. Her name will be Molly Sue McFadden and I am really excited for her arrival. It's weird that getting married to someone brings these instant family members. I will be an aunt to two children. (Mike has a ten year old niece from his sister) Noone in my immediate family has any children and only two people that are really close to me have ever had children. One is my cousin and she didn't give birth here, and I rarely see her. The other is Jeannette who gave birth this past summer and I haven't even met her daughter yet. So, this is the first birth that I will get to be at the hospital for. I've never even seen a newborn in real life. And, to be honest. I think I have held, maybe 3 babies in my lifetime. This is all really new for me.

I only have 9 more episodes until I am finished with Lost. Then I can FINALLY finish reading the last Twilight book and then move on to greater and better things.

The now and the never

Well.....several people have brought to my attention that I have not updated in eons. Sorry. To be honest, I kinda forgot about this thing....there goes my social experiment.

I don't know why this is significant enough to comment on, but I went to Wal-mart this afternoon. I should mention, if you didn't know, but being in public in the first place usually scares me to death. Being around large groups of people gives me the heebie jeebies. Well, I don't know if it is because it is around the holidays, or a Friday, or maybe the end of the world is coming and no one told me, but it was crowded at like 2:00. After fighting my way through inconsiderate people and becoming one myself I stood in line for check out for 20 minutes. Yeah. My blood sugar started dropping and I was getting really shaky and the next thing that always follows is irritation. When I finally get to placing my items on the checkout counter I am fumbling through everything because my hands ar shaking beyond my own control. Then, after standing in line for forever with a line wrapping around the candy aisle behind me, the check out woman became Ms. Chatty Cathy with me. I am sure in other circumstances I would have found her to be quite charming and enjoyable. She looked JUST LIKE Shirley Macclaine in Steel Magnoilas and sounded like her, too. I normally would have found this kind of character intriguing, but I wanted to leave and I didn't want to hold up the line anymore. She starts talking to me about this sweatshirt I am wearing. Last year sometime when Mike was delivering plumbing parts to some company the manager gave him a free company sweatshirt. Mike gave it to me. I usually wear it with my pj's and never out in public. I do not enjoy advertising anything I am not personally connected with. But, I cleaned my parent's house today and had errands to run and I didn't feel like getting dolled up. So, she is talking to me about this company and asks if I work for them, and I politely tell her no and that I know nothing about them. This invites her to tell me ALL about it. They make faucets or something. And she had to describe in detail the quality of the company. Then, I hadd a 24 case of water in my shopping cart that I started to pick up, but she told me to leave it there, she would manually key it in because of the size. I go to pay, but I asked if she remembered the water, because THIS YEAR I have accidently stolen from walmart TWICE. Once with a spool of thread and another time with an onion and I don't want to make this a habit. Well, she forgot. But to make sure she had to print out the receipt and look it over which took forever. I felt like a douche. I knew I was taking forever BECAUSE OF HER and I don't like people waiting on me. Finally, she rang up the water, I paid and left.

Go ahead...say it..."Cool story, Meghann."

anyway, school is over for the semester. I don't think I ended as strongly as I would have liked. I was burnt out. I don't think I did BAD, but I don't think I did my best, either. I only have one grade so far for my online art class and I got an A. I had to do two actual art projects- like make art. The first was to do water color paintings to music. I had to pick two songs that were opposites and paint while listening. It was pretty cool, but my paintings are ridiculous. The second I like so much more. I had to make a collage of sorts using magazines or other materials. I clipped pictures from a fashion magazie and turned it into a nature scene. Like, I used this really cool spiraling piece of hair for a waterfall, a diamond for the sun, a green dress acted as bushes...you get the idea. I think it looks pretty neat. I keep waiting anxiously for my other professors to post grades. I am alittle worried. I should have A's and B's in all of my classes, but German is a little sketchy. I could make a B, but it all depends on how I did on the final, and I don't feel good about it. I will be pretty mad if that one class keeps me from making the Dean's list again. We shall see.

I got to see Mike tonight. He is parked at exit 27 off I24 in Kentucky. I drove up there and we had dinner at Cracker Barrel, then we went back to his truck and watched Fred Claus...which was actually pretty cute. I just love Christmas movies.

I have been obsessed with watching Lost lately. My brother Ryan has tried to get me to watch it for forever and I resisted for a long time. I am glad I decided to give it a chance, though. But, seriously it is comsuming my life. I dream about it every night- as if I am a character in the show.

i am really creepy.

I did this when I was reading Twilight, too....anything that I got hot and heavy in over powers my dreams.

I haven't wanted to really say anything about it just yet....but...my birthday is coming up soon. I turn 25 on December 28th. I always look forward to my birthday, and I always thought it was really stupid when people made a big deal about getting older. But, this birthday feels really different. I'm not trying to act like that at 25 I am over the hill- but 25...seriously...getting older is starting to get real. This birthday just feels different from the others...and it doesn't make me feel good.

I have to start looking for wedding dresses soon and I am terrified. I have been looking forward to doing everything else- but this. I haven't lost any weight and I am just really REALLY scared of not looking pretty on my wedding day. I know it looks bad to find something upseting about my wedding- and I'm not trying to get sympathy....but...it's just my fear that on the most important day of my life I am going to look stupid.

and end rant.

I'm so excited that it is Christmas time. I have already done so much to celebrate- usually I drop the ball- and I have so much more to look forward to. I have already done some shopping, but not everything. The tree is up, there is egg nogg in the kitchen, music on my ipod. I am ready.

The Thankful

Mike didn't make it home for Thanksgiving. This was the first holiday we have spent apart from each other. I got a text message from him yesterday while at school telling me we needed to talk. When I called him back he asked me if I was done for the day or if I had another class. I told him I had one more class, and he said to just call him back when I got out. I told him to just tell me what he wanted to say, and he dropped the bombshell. So, I'm crying in the stairwell in Harned Hall. I then call my mom and let her know that my plans for during the day have freed, and I have to go into class. And, I was doing a really bad job of trying to cover my emotions and as SOON as someone asked me what was wrong I turned into a waterfall.

I hate....HATE...absolutely HATE crying in front of strangers. It was so awkward.

But, it just sucked. Mike has been gone for 27 days. I miss him terribly. He is supposed to be home early tomorrow morning, and then our plans go back to normal. It can't get here soon enough.

I am thankful for still being alive.

I am NOT thankful for broken promises, missing people you love, end of the school year, bogged down and stressed out situations, an being sleepy.

The Stressing

I'm pretty sure I should be crying. But, I think I am so stressed that I am shutting off the parts of my mind that are scared to deal with it, and instead I am in survivor mode.

I thought I had five papers to write, but found out I have six. I didn't know I a research paper for my art class to do. I am completely done with two of them. I am almost done with the rough draft for a third. I could possibly get away with saving one of them for Sunday night, one Monday, and the last one on Tuesday. We'll see how tomorrow goes. I have so many other things besides papers to do as well. I hope I get the most I can done tomorrow.

I am so tired. I am going to finish this rough draft and go to bed.

I usually always shower at night because I never wake up in time to take one in the morning, but for some freak reason, I have been waking up earlier than ever, so I know I'll have time tomorrow.

Mike was supposed to get home tomorrow night. Instead he won't be home until Thanksgiving day. And to boot, after he found that out, he ran into a situation that is going to make him even later on that day then he thought. So, he spends an entire month out to be home for Thanksgiving, but will only get to celebrate it for a half a day. This isn't at all what we expected.

I went to get him his ornament yesterday. Last year, Walmart had a really nice selection of all kinds of stuff. Well, the things I saw yesterday were pathetic. I ended up getting him a fish, because he likes fishing. I wanted something a little more special, but that will have to do. I also got him a gag ornament. Mike is into nascar racing. His favorite driver isn't one that is usually marketed in promotional items. But, I did find one of a driver he doesn't really like.

Is it Christmas, yet?

The Sensation

Oh Lawd!

So, I got my sleep schedule back on track and over corrected it. I have been getting up earlier than I ever have. Unfortunately, going to see Twilight at Midnight two nights ago kinda messed that up. Yesterday I went to take a nap to recover at around 4:30. I told Mike to wake me up in an hour, but he called at 7:30. I was a mean ole grump to him and he told me to sleep through the night. I barely remember this taking place. I just woke up at 5:00am. This stuff is nuts. The bad part is I told Jef I would hang out with him last night and never got back to him. I am a jerk.

In retrospect, I guess this works out alright. I have been working on homework like a mad woman this entire week to prepare for this weekend. Because Mike is coming home for four days and I have several papers due the day we get back from break, I have to do ALL of them this weekend. Yeah, five papers. So, I have spent an hour drinking coffee and interneting, but after I write this I will get started. It would be nice to make such a significant dent that I could take a break tonight and chill.

So, yeah I Twilight is finally here. Charlsie, Jackson, Jef and I went to see it at the midnight showing. We got coffee together before mostly to get the caffeine to stay alert. We didn't leave for the theater until 11:30 because we already had tickets. I had been texting Kashmir all day long and she told me at like 10:15 that she was already at her theater in Springfield. I thought she was entirely too early. So, we get there and the line isn't very long for seating and moving quickly and the whole time I was wondering why it wasn't such a big deal here. Well, as soon as we entered the actual theater I found out I was wrong.

It was packed.

We wanted to find four seats together, but this was almost impossible. We had to settle for four seats together on the VERY first row. I was so mad. SOOO MAD. Why didn't I just decided to get there like an hour earlier?? Instead, we had to sit in seats that hurt your neck. The screen is GIGANTIC and we are looking at it as if it is over our heads. Your head has to move and follow words as they extend over the screen. It was awful. But, I told myself "hey, atleast we're here and atleast we get to sit together- make the most of it!"

So, the lights dim and the crowd is going nuts as the previews come on. This kid comes up to us and kneels down and asks us if we like our seats. Of course we say no, and he tells us there are more seats available in another screen. My first thought it OMG YES!!! then my second thought is "what if this guy doesn't really work here and is tricking us for our seats?" So I ask him if he works there and he laughs and tells us he is a manager and just isn't in uniform. I decided to quasi-trust him and we walk out. As soon as I see someone in legit uniform I confirmed with them and he was telling the truth.

We got into the other theater and as we rounded the corner there was hardly anyone in there. It was so exciting- like we had conquered something.

I don't recommend that everyone go see this movie. I don't know what it is like to watch it from the perspective of someone who has never read the books. But, as a fan who loves the books so dearly as if they were my own children, this was the best movie I have ever seen. The best part of watching it was seeing these characters that I have fallen in love with come to life. Charlsie and I couldn't stop laughing through the whole things just because you got to see these places, ideas, people, jokes and you remembered reading about them. It was the best experience I have ever had watching a movie (save for the jerks behind us that kept talking).

Mike comes home in four more days!!!!

The weak and the weary

My sleep schedule keeps wavering and nothing I do seems to get it back on track. It happened Wednesday night. I met Jackson for coffee after midnight. Fueled by too much coffee, I was unable to sleep and stayed up late doing homework. The next day I didn't wake up until 6:30 in the evening. To try to fix this I stayed up all night and went to school on no sleep on Friday. My plan was to stay up until an appropriate bed time that night. Well, I ended up taking a nap in the middle of the day and staying up until 10am on Saturday. Then on Saturday I slept from 10am to 1pm and made a plan to go to sleep around 10 that night. Didn't get to sleep until 3am-ish and woke up this afternoon at 4:30.

YIKES...now it is almost 12:30- I have a bit of reading left to do before I can go to bed again. I just want to correct this. I feel like this week has gone by so fast at the wrong time.

However, through all of it: I did some exercising, got more homework done, spent quality time with Jackson and Jef, got a pumpkin spice latte, and watched 3 movies.

Definitely, Maybe was REALLY good. Must Love Dogs was very enjoyable. Made of Honor was ok.

I also made of list of everything I am getting Mike for Christmas and added the links to where to buy it, so I don't have to worry with all that anymore, just the actual buying. And, Mike and I made a list of everything to get his family....so just mine to go.

I need to go shopping and get mike some Christmas tree ornaments. I have a ton that I collected as a child and my mom still gives me new ones each year, but Mike never had any of his own. This will be our third Christmas living together and I have been trying to build up his collection since. I want to surprise him with some new ones when he gets home. Then, I need to make a list of everything we are going to need for our Thanksgiving/Christmas extravaganza.

I tried to register for next semester about 30 minutes ago (when it was finally available for me to do so) and it told me I have a damned hold on my account. I hope by the time I can take care of it, my classes will still be open.

The Menu

I'm pretty sure I have cabin fever.

Here are some fun pictures:

The Bragging Rights

School is pretty awesome when you get a test and a paper back and make A's on both.

Sup? I'm braggin.

I am really proud of myself. For the longest time I went from thinking that I was never going to succeed in school, to thinking I got control over the situation but wouldn't be anything other than an average student, to discovering that I can be on the top. I think now that I found a comfort zone within my department, I found the confidence to excel.

I was telling someone earlier, that it sucks that it took me so long to feel like I belonged in the English department and get to know people, and now I only have one literature class left, so next semester I will deal with nothing but the Education department, where I know hardly anyone. But, I think I will have an easier transition now that I know how to do it. Isn't this sad? Why do I have to be so awkward!?!?!!?

I took a really painful nap on the couch this afternoon and woke up several times in pain because I was sleeping on the bar in the middle- but I was so tired that I couldn't wake up long enough to move.

I really wish I could write a long entry on all the exciting things happening in my life, but it's been pretty normal the past couple days. School, homework, sleep, excessive amounts of television.

The Poetic Summary

read
all
day
long.


ate some olive garden.

read
some
more.

Zzzzzzzz's waiting.

The (crazy) Dog

I thought I was going to be killed by a dog tonight. At least seriously injured. I came home after grocery shopping and as I got out of the car I put my purse, a magazine, and a soda on the roof of my car to free my hands for bags. I like to see if i can get all the bags at one time, so I was piling them up my arms when I heard a dog barking...but it was off in the distance. I got all the bags and moved around the car to get the purse and things when I noticed the barking was coming closer and I saw a dog not on a leash coming near me.

Under normal circumstances I would have been cool and ignored it. But it was barking at me and it was a scary looking down like a pit or something. I froze. My mind was racing trying think of what to do. I remember asking myself "Ok, what have people taught me to do in this situation?" as if someone had taught me what to do in this situation. They hadn't. I had no idea what to do. I thought about attacking with my keys...yeah right..My plan finally agreed to attack with the grocery bags.

But, I just stood there waiting for the dog to do something other than bark at me. I finally moved to the side and noticed he moved from the opposite direction of me. I didn't feel as threatened by this, so I made my way slowly to the porch and he moved away from me the entire time.

I got inside and realized that I left my purse and stuff on the roof of my car. I looked outside and the pooch had started to cross the street. The coast seemed clear, but as I opened the door he heard me and came back just a-barking away. I stepped back inside because he came all the way to the bottom of the porch stairs.

I channeled my inner crazy lady and thought I should probably get a broom. So I walked out there with the broom shooing him away and safely got my belongings- but it was really scary.

I knew Zoe needed to use the bathroom, but I wouldn't let her out because of a potential dog fight, but even over an our later when I let Zoe outside I heard her barking at something- and she never does that so I quickly let her back in.

It was scary.

The Homerun

This weekend was a homerun for relationships. My friend Jef FINALLY came home from a tour in Iraq for good after being gone for over a year. I love how with certain friends it feels like time never passed. It's like, when Kashmir came to Clarksville this past summer I hadn't seen her in over a year and it was just...normal. Today, Nik who I haven't seen since July came down from BG and we had dinner. Waited over two hours for pizza hut due to a delivery boy's first day but got the pizza for free so it was a win.

I really wish each of these entries weren't turning into a summary of my homework. But, I got a good amount accomplished this weekend. I got all of my Expository and Brit Lit assignments for this week done. I am hoping to finish the rest between now and Wednesday night and give myself a good long break.

I have let my kitchen get really bad. I need to do some serious cleaning in there tomorrow.

Yeah......my life is boring.

The Big Girl

I am about to finally go to bed....yikes...it is five in the morning. Jackson and Stephen came over tonight and we watched A Perfect Storm. Depressing.

I am pretty sure I rocked my Brit Lit exam. And I think my paper for Expository is pretty good. I then went and cleaned my parent's house, stopped off at the bank, and FINALLY went to renew my vehicle registration.

I didn't do any homework tonight. I had to force myself not to. I know that I needed one break to make myself emotionally feel better. I average about six hours of homework and studying a day. It is so exhausting. I remember during my first year of college in this class called ACAD 1100 (which is the same as APSU 1000 or an intro into college course where they teach you how to be a college student) my professor told us something like you should study twice how many hours the class outside of class. A three hour class warrants six hours of study time a week or something of that nature. Well, I am taking 19 hours. I am doing that and more.

I will say though, that MOST of that study time is spent reading. But, understand reading for school is not the same as reading for pleasure. Half of the time I am reading material I have no interest in whatsoever. Then, I have to make sure I understand and pay attention to everything for possible quizzes, tests, and discussions. And, you must consider the stress of reading multiple stories for different classes. I get really confused sometimes and forget what happened in which one and for which class, so I have to keep all of that straight and it is time consuming to boot.I can't just knock out 75 pages for one class in an hour- it takes awhile. A lot longer than pleasurable reading. Hell, I read the first Twilight book in one day- a what? 5-600 page book. One day. I could NEVER read that much for school in the same time.

I really miss Mike. Today is the 7th? 19 more days to go.

Like I said before, I have most of my stuff for Monday done...but I realized I have a pot load of German todo- a paper to rewrite- a paper to start- and a pretty long reading assignment.

Is it time to graduate yet???

The good news is I am not taking any literature classes next semester. I only have one left, but I am going to take it in the fall and give myself a break from all that business.

My tentative schedule for the Spring is:
Special Education
Instructional Technology
Instructional Strategies
Evaluation and Assessment
Diverse Students
Grammar and Usage

the first five are education course and the last is linguistics...although I won't have to read several pages of literature a night, I bet all of those classes have an insane amount of work to accomplish. Like actual written assignments.

Then in the Fall I will have 6 more classes to take and then in one year I will be getting ready to student teach.

AHHHH...then I will get a real big girl job making big girl monies...

The Busy Bee

Another long day of homework is finally put behind me. I had to polish a four page paper, prepare for an in class test in Brit Lit tomorrow, and do two different readings. Whew. Much work. One of the books is Ellen Foster which was one of my summer assignments for my junior year. I remember that I liked reading it then but couldn't remember much else. It was excellent. There were also several references that I know I couldn't have gotten then, that I do now. I like seeing connections like that.

I also finally got my butt up and managed to throw in a workout today. I feel pretty accomplished. I am so happy in life, the icing on that cake would be to get in shape and then everything in my life would be perfect.

Tomorrow starts weekend one with no Mike- I have almost all of my homework done for Monday so i won't have much to do. I hope I can read more of the 4th Twilight book.

The Celebration

I think that says it all. I am so happy that I got to be apart of such a monumental day in history. I am looking forward to everything the future will bring. For a long time I didn't think I was going to vote in this election. I felt uneducated about the candidates, and the process of politics makes me rather depressed. Within my frustration I decided it wasn't worth it and swore to several people that I would not be found at the polls yesterday.

But, I got to thinking about it. I know how important events are to me. Milestones, traditions, the little things we feel nostalgic about mean more to me than the average person- I am pretty convinced. I knew I would regret looking back on this elections if I wasn't apart of it. I did some looking around and discussed some things with friends and finally made my decision.

It feels good to be on a winning team.

This is what I look like when I go vote:


I look like I am about to make a very important presidential decision. See it? Look at those eyes.

Check out that scarf. It is hot pink and lime green. My friend Stephen made it for me in like two days. It was ridiculous. I think it is awesome and is everything I would ever want in a scarf.

Mike has decided to stay out on the road until the day before Thanksgiving. When it is all said and done he will have been gone for 26 days. It isn't an ideal situation, and I am sure it is going to be really tough. However, the reward is far worth it. This way he will make more money and he will get four straight days home and guaranteed home on the holiday.

Like nerds, we have both made plans for everything we are going to do that weekend and besides the day of Thanksgiving and My mother's birthday on that Saturday- the day we are really looking forward to is Friday. Mike is going to take me on my very first Black Friday trip. I am really hoping to knock out almost all of our combined families Christmas presents. I don't know if this goal is too ambitious, but we shall see. After shopping the plan is to come home and get the Christmas celebration started. Among baking sugar cookies and putting up our tree (with the sounds of carols in the background) we are going to watch two Christmas movies that Mike has been begging to watch for almost a year now. I have been very insistent that they would have to wait. They are Deck the Halls and Unaccompanied Minors...haven't seen either...and I hope they don't disappoint.

I have been staying fairly organized with school and keeping up with all assignments and such. Not too much longer until the semester is over, and I think I have done a pretty dang good job this time around. I had my advisement appointment on Monday and it sank in just how close I am to being over. I only have twelve more classes to take which breaks down into two semesters and then I student teach. I am getting closer and closer to the end.

The Catch Up

Now, where were we...I'll start where I left off....Friday

I finally went and picked Mike up VERY early Friday morning. I think it was sometime around 5:00 am. We were both dog tired, and I only had two classes the next day- so, since I have hardly missed any school at all this semester I decided to "take a mental health day." We slept well until noon that day. Mike woke up first and cooked us lunch while I did some minor straightening up around the house. We spent the rest of the day catching up on two weeks worth of recorded tv. I know it must sound so lame, but after he works two weeks straight and I have two weeks full of non-stop homework we both want nothing more than to lay in the bed and watch television.

We were planning on having some friends come over on Saturday, so we went to Wal-mart to get the must needed groceries. Mike decided it would be smart to also visit his truck at the Pilot at exit 86 to drop off some of his things and then we'd hit up the Oak Grove Wal-mart there- especially since Kentucky doesn't charge tax on groceries. As soon as we got into the store Mike got really excited and wanted to see all the Christmas stuff. I am just as bad as him so we dedicated a pretty long time to exploring all the fun ornaments, platters, mangers, and more.

Mike's sister called to see if we had eaten dinner yet, and we met them at Captain D's for a quick bite. We didn't bother getting any of the food we needed for Saturday since we wouldn't have time to take it home first. Instead we just went in town after dinner.

When we finally got home I challenged Mike to a game of scrabble and made some coffee with the new Pumpkin Spice creamer I bought. We only played one game, but I guess it took a long time, because before I knew it Jackson called me and it was around midnight. Jackson came over for a few minutes to decided what to make for our Halloween gathering the next night. I had some cook books for him to browse through. Once he left, Mike and I were extremely tired AGAIN, but managed to stay awake for a new episode of Stargate Atlantis before drifting off to sleep.

The next day we had to drive to Nashville for my soon-to-be sister-in-law's baby show. Mike wouldn't be attending the party, but he would get to see some family that drove great distances to be there, and spend some time with the boys. I always think baby showers are kinda awkward and I already felt slightly out of my element because there were so many people there I don't know. But, I made a onesie...so this made it better:


I am pretty sure Mike's family thought it was kinda weird...but...it's totally me.

As the shower was winding down, I got a call from Mike asking me to come pick him up from downtown. The guys he was with were still planning on staying down there a little longer and we had to get back for our friends and it was getting pretty late. I hate driving in Nashville when I don't know where I am going. The shower was at Mike's brother's house which is off of West End. I know that part fairly well and I knew I needed to get to 2nd Ave. This would have been hunky-dory if almost all of West End hadn't been closed down. So, I had to get off West End into some back roads and I just followed the people in front of me. But, they went back onto West End, we drove for another block, and then the road was closed down again. So, I wanted to try to get near Cafe Coco because I knew I could get around everything. I had to do some really weird navigating around the park....West End Ave...and other stuff but I finally got there. The whole while Mike and I are yelling at each other on the phone because we don't handle these situations very well together. Once I got to the area I wanted to be in Mike's directions didn't make any sense to me and I got onto the interstate when he wanted me to go somewhere else. But, I eventually got on track and got to him.

It was about 6:30 when we met back up and neither of us had eat yet. I assumed there was going to be food at the shower, and I figured Mike would be going out to eat. The shower just had cookies and stuff. So we grabbed some Rally's and booked it back home to finish getting the house ready for company.

Jackson, Charlsie, and Steven came over and we went to the Biker's Who Scare haunted house. I have been to it every year that they've been open. I absolutely loved going to it and have told everyone I know that they put on the best haunted house. Mike had tried to convince me to go to a different one this year, but I managed to convince him to go to this one- for tradition sake.

We got there and the line was pretty long. I was already expecting that. But this line was longer than normal. We clocked it and ended up being in line for almost two hours. I wore the wrong kind of shoes and my feet were so sore when we left. We FINALLY get inside and start. It took prolly 15 minutes and we were done.

Stood in line for two hours to tour a haunted house for 15 minutes.

It was so lame. Every year before the rooms were really scary. This year wasn't at all. At a haunted house you are supposed to go into rooms and see something happen. You see what's happening when you get in there and then something unexpected is supposed to happen. You are supposed to be waiting for that shock. But we were just floating from room to room seeing something already in progress that isn't scary. It isn't scary to come in and see people I know are fake pretending to cut each other's legs off. It's scary to come inside to a room where some guy is just chillin and THEN bam his legs fall off. As a kid I remember going into each room with fear wondering what was going to pop out at me next. There was none of this feeling at all.

The only part where I got scared at all was a dark maze at the end. And I was only scared because I saw someone working at the haunted house who hates me, and I got scared she would try to kill me in the dark.

They also don't understand the gag with the chainsaw. Chainsaws are scary- yes. But they are not scary when you have one in every room. And not only is there one in every room- but there are like 2 or 3 people in a room with one.

But the funniest part of the whole thing happened when we were walking down a hallway with people pretending to stab us and this kid working it yelled "KNIFE!"

When we got done we headed to Wal-mart to pick out pumpkins to carve. Got a couple forgotten items and headed back to the house.

We put together our Halloween feast:


Bubbling Cauldron Dip with Bat Wings


Brains, Bones, and Werewolf testicles

After eating we got started carving pumpkins. I had planned on also watching a scary movie that night and playing a healthy game of Clue, but between the 2 hour haunted house wait and carving pumpkins we didn't have the time. I had no clue the pumpkins would take so long, but I had a really good time doing it. I know I did it as a kid, but I don't have any memory doing so. Once, as an adult, I tried to carve one, but thought it was too hard and ended up stopping and throwing it away.

But, Steven had done this before and with his help and using the really cool kits you can buy it was really easy.

I was super-duper proud of myself for completing it.

From L to R: Mine, Mike's, Charlsie's, Steven's and Jackson's



This made night three of going to be extremely tired. Because everything took so long, we didn't get to bed into late. Mike and I were planning on going to church, but it was not happening. Instead, we got up around noon again and ate lunch before getting ready to take him back to work.

So, back to the grind again. Yesterday and today I have been trying to get all of my homework for the entire week done, because I would really just like to relax. I have a bunch of movies to watch and I still haven't read the 4th Twilight book- even though everyone else in the world has.
Oh, Mike really liked his Halloween care package. I got disappointed though because the cd I made him didn't work :( Oh well.

The Promise

I have much to comment and update on....but I am so exhausted...one more month and it will all be over!!!

I promise a full update- IN COLOR- tomorrow

and by color I clearly mean photo opportunity...

Here's something to keep you on the edge of your seat: there is a strong possibility that I either have lock jaw or I ate too many pumpkin seeds....

Tomorrow....I swear...

the day of the cleanings

I am exhausted!!! I cleaned three houses today...I haven't done anything else except watch one tv show.

Unfortunately I have to wait for Mike to get home so I can go pick him up. It's 2:40 and he is sill quite awhile from being home. And I have class tomorrow.

Fortunately, I only two classes tomorrow because my Expository professor canceled class for some conference or something another she has to go to.

Sorry this isn't so exciting, but I have had a very not exciting day.

Good news however. I have been working over my Christmas list. Yeah, I am twenty-four and I still make Christmas lists. Oh yeah, and there are still two months until Christmas to boot. Anyway, I have been looking around online for certain things I want. One of those items is a wallet. I have an ok wallet....got it at Walmart...nothing special. I wanted something a little nicer. I went to my parent's house for their weekly cleaning (throw back to paragraph one- see how cohesive this is) and on the kitchen table was my usual used People magazine (mom gets them weekly and gives them to me when she's done), my usual Sunday coupons (I like the savings), my usual check (cause I like the monies for services) and a package (there were some other things but they aren't usual and do not pertain to this story). I opened the package and lo and behold there was a VERY nice wallet inside. My parents just got back from Rome. I thought it was an awesome souvenir! My mom didn't know I wanted a wallet; it was just a pleasant surprise.

I need to take some ibuprofen...my back is killing me.

the nerdy and the cuties...

Mike comes home tomorrow...err...today I guess...technically today...but very very late. He's been gone for nearly two weeks. Because he was home for practically like....three months? It's been weird being away from him for so long....and yet it feels like everything went back to normal. I asked him if he felt nice being back into a routine and he was so sweet and polite by prefacing himself with "well, of course I would rather be home with you........but yeah." I don't blame him. I loved him being home and getting to see him every day, but when he wasn't working our home felt so unproductive. It was hard for me to feel motivated when Mike was constantly doing nothing. I found myself doing the minimum I could afford to get away with in school to spend time with him. I'm not some great overachiever, but I do like to get a head start on certain things.

I didn't finish reading Confederacy of Dunces....but I got lucky. My professor's child got sick at school and she had to leave to pick them up and class got canceled. It is a Monday/Wednesday class so I have several days to finish that puppy...and if I don't I will be SO MAD at myself. I've been trying to do as much as my homework as possible for Friday and Monday so I can do as little as possible this weekend. I have just been reading all day long. I read some stuff written by Darwin on Evolution for Brit Lit for Friday and almost half of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for Monday's Brit Lit...a short story for Southern Lit which was really good called Testimony of Pilot and you can read it here: http://www.mpbonline.org/television/series/writers/110-Rights/media/Testimony%20of%20Pilot.pdf

I am so addicted to reality television- the competition type. I don't care what they are trying to win chances are I am going to watch. Ok, this is slightly exaggerated. I couldn't possibly watch every reality show out there. There are several I don't follow. But Along with America's Next Top Model, Top Design, The Pick Up Artist, Survivor (and I just finished Project Runway) I added a new show into the mix. It started tonight and it was FAB-U-LOUS. On the WB at 8:00 I caught the series premier of Stylistas, or 11 people competing for a job with Elle Magazine. It has gays, it has fashion, it already had drama.....what more could I ask for?

This has just been a jam packed year for television for me. I am happy that I can say that I have counterbalanced that with a ridiculous amount of reading so that I don't come off as a TOTAL loser. I won't bore you with the extensive list of shows that I follow- but my new project along with my regularly scheduled programs and of course Stargate will be Lost and The Office. Apparently I missed a huge boat with those two gems. I haven't started them yet, this is just what I hear.

I don't know what has gotten into her but the Mable-baby has become very affectionate since I got back home from house sitting for my parents. Usually, she wonders off for about 4 to 5 hours a day. I assume she is sleeping somewhere, tucked away...or in my wildest fantasies having tea parties with the neighboring felines- but now she is always around me and she wants to constantly touch me...which GOSH this has been the dream but she wants to sit between me and the book I am trying to read or on top of the keyboard...it's getting to be really inappropriate...

by the way....check out all the cuties from the week i was over there:

Isn't it funny that my animals are both black....and my mom's are both gray...


I e-made up with a friend from my past today. I am really happy to have her back.

Getting read for Halloween

I am getting so tired of reading...I guess since we are finally a little over halfway done with the semester that this should be expected. I am reading As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner this week for American Lit II.


I have never completed a Faulkner novel before, so this will be my first. So far, I guess it's not that bad. It has been an easy read, although my professor warned us about reading stream of consciousness....but I think my brain works in that way that- for me -it is easy to follow. We read another one of his novels in Modern Southern Fiction, but I never finished it. We have to do author presentations for that class and the kid who did Faulkner used the above picture which has turned into an inside joke. For Modern Southern Fiction I have to read all of A Confederacy Of Dunces by tomorrow. I have had all week- so this is entirely my fault.

I made a Halloween playlist today. I wish I had started sooner so I could enjoy it longer, but two weeks isn't that bad. This weekend I am getting together with some friends to go to the Bikes Who Scare haunted house. Then we'll come back to my house for pumpkin carving, Halloween food, and maybe a scary movie or two. It looks like I will spend Halloween night alone. Mike is going to be on the road and Jackson doesn't get off work that night until midnight. My plan then is to go rent this movie:
Note Tim Curry in the background there. On a side note I absolutely love him. I wanted him to be in one of the Harry Potter movies....he would have been perfect...but he hasn't and I don't think there are any new characters introduced in the movies that haven't been made. Alright, side note ended. This was one of my favorite movies as a kid. I think it's pretty funny to look at the foreshadowing here with Faruza Balk...she went on to do The Craft.

So, I will watch this movie...and I am going to get a Jack-o-lantern shaped pepperoni pizza from Papa Murphy's and pass out the candies to the trick-or-treaters. I hope I get some. I have never gotten to pass out candy since I moved out of my parent's house. I see kids being dropped off by school buses and such, I'd think they kids would be out and about then. Maybe Jackson will come over when he gets done at work and we can watch something frightful.

Since Mike won't be home on Halloween, I am going to surprise him with a Halloween care package. So far I am going to include a copy of the Halloween playlist, another random mix cd, some candy, and a Halloween card. I would like to think of a couple other small things to include- any help would be appreciated!!!! :)

I finally got some cleaning done. The living room and dining room are finished except for the floors. The belt on my vacuum cleaner broke and I am having a hard time finding the appropriate one to fix it. In just a minute I am going to dust my bedroom and then move on to the bathroom. I always leave the kitchen for last. It really sucks not having a dishwasher.

I am filling out an application to be a substitute teacher for the school system. I am really nervous and I don't want to do it. But, everyone keeps telling me I should, so I guess maybe I am missing something. Mike thinks it would be nice to get some extra money for Christmas presents. My parents think I should get the experience. I just have a problem being authoritative, which I know I need to be in order to run my own classroom someday...I just don't want to learn until I have to.

the saddest goodbye

Well, I guess I haven't done such a great job with writing every day...how bad is that...to miss a day right after your first entry...

I have had a very unproductive weekend. I had envisioned getting my house completely cleaned and doing a ton of homework. I basically did the least amount of homework I could get away with (but believe me I still did A LOT) and the only cleaning I did was in my bedroom.

I went to my cousin's wedding this weekend, and had a good time. It really pumped me up for my own wedding, and made me change my mind on a couple of things- for one, I changed my mind about not making my brothers (the ushers) wear tuxes...they did for this wedding and they both looked mighty sharp.

After the wedding I came home and wanted to settle down to some tv and unwind. I decided to make a pot of coffee. As I was cleaning the coffee pot I got a phone call from Kashmir. I spoke casually to her like I always do and realized she wasn't. She sounded serious. Bad serious. She told me Jackie was trying to get a hold of me. I was really confused- Jackie I haven't really spoken in years....why would she need to speak to me. And then Kashmir just straight out told me- my friend Mark had committed suicide. My first reaction was "Mark? Mark who?" And Kashmir told me Nik's exboyfriend Mark....and my heart sank. I told Kashmir I had to go, but she told me to wait, that she wanted to give me Meagan Kelshimer's phone number, because she was the one who started the search party for me and that she could give me all the details. I was nervous to call her, because again, I haven't talked to her in ages, either. I also don't know how you talk to someone about a friend who is dead. So, we talked briefly and agreed we should see each other over some coffee when we can talk about happier things. Then, I knew I had to call Nik.

And I didn't want to. I knew how I was feeling and I never dated the guy. I just didn't know how I was going to tell her. So, I just did. I just said it...like Kashmir had done for me. And we stayed on the phone for a long time in awkward silence....neither of us knowing what to say.

It doesn't help matters much that Nik and I haven't talked to each other since the fourth of July. It was just awkward...all the way around.

I don't know why people feel like they don't have a way to escape their pain. I wish Mark had said something....something to someone...because it didn't have to go down like this. I know he had so many friends who would have done anything for him...he just had to be in the worst pain- pain unimaginable to think this was the only way out.

Mark gave me my first pair of converse Chuck Taylor's. He gave them to me at the cafe in December of 2002 when I was home for Christmas break from college. They are blue and I still have them...they are just too beat up to actually wear. He knew I had been wanting a pair and they had belonged to him in high school. We wore the same shoe size. They were already broken in and came pre-written on.

I went to church today for the first time in forever. I asked God to help him on the other side. I know in my religion, suicide isn't an unforgivable sin anymore, but I know it isn't the best way to get yourself into heaven, either. I asked God to help him, because I know he was a good man at heart and he deserves a nice place where he can finally find peace.

I have always been too attached to other people's emotions. When someone else is sad...it weighs me down. When someone else cries...I am going to cry. Laughter is infectious around me. I know this will sound too over the top that it will wind up losing meaning...but I hate knowing how sad other people are out there. It breaks my heart. I don't want anyone to ever feel like nobody cares about them or that the quality and existence of their life isn't valued.

The Beginning

I thought it was time for a real home- some place where blogging was not only expected but accepted .

So fall is finally here!

this is a view from my driveway in front of the house. The screen on the my digital camera is busted, and I really thought I was capturing just the yellow tree- but I guess I like the juxtaposition. The yellow tree bares persimmons. I hear they are an excellent fruit for baking pies or jams- but the thought of using fruit that grew naturally and not fruit that you purposely planted for harvest is really gross to me. A friend of Mike's (the fiancee) swears he saw a bus driver have a kid get out of the bus in front of my house and pick some persimmons and then get back on. I have a hard time believing a bus driver would do that, and I have hard time believing this friend of Mike's- however, I really don't know why he would make such a story up. But, anyway. The main point is that fall is finally here. and I love it.

I have been doing my best to be a good fall participant. I hold pretty high expectations every year, but somehow end up falling short. But, I think I am doing pretty good so far. I have made chili:


along with drinking lots of warm coffee (but really, I don't need fall to do this). I bought apple crystal lite yesterday- which granted is NOT apple cider- but it's a calorie free replacement. I also got apple cinnamon rice cakes which are realllly good. I swear fall is not just all about the food for me. I have gotten all of my sweaters and warm weather clothing out of their summer boxes, and I have decorated my entire house in my fall decor. This weekend I also plan on making a Halloween playlist, as well as a fall playlist.

Yesterday I listened to Blink182 while driving home from my parent's house. I realized that they sort of remind me of the fall mostly due to two occasions, both involving Jessica "Hot Pants" Baird. For the first, during our junior year of high school we were both doing the play Arsenic and Old Lace- I was in it and she was the stage manager. Jessica not only drove that year but she had her own car. I am four months older than Jess, but I really didn't start driving until the summer after junior year which was also when I got my first car- but regardless- because I did not have acceptable transportation Jessica drove me home everyday after play rehearsal. This was - of course- during the fall months. To thank Jessica for constantly taking me home, my mother wrote her a check for the gas money she had spent. Jessica used that money to buy the new Blink182 CD- the live one...we listened to it every day. A lot happened in my life junior year. But, thankfully the one thing I will think of first is being on stage and Blink182.

The second time was the fall of my first year at college. Jessica and I had both gone to the University of Memphis. For some reason, and I really can not remember why I ended up riding with Jessica when we went home for Thanksgiving. I don't know if there was something wrong with my car, or if I didn't have gas money to get home, or if it just made sense to us to car pool- whatever the reason Jessica drove us both. I was having a very difficult semester and I was feel very down that day, but I tried my best not to show it. But, for old time's sake Jess whipped out some Blink182- and I am pretty sure that it all we listened to for the entire 3 hour trip home.

There is still so much more I need to do before this fall leaves me. I have to make something pumpkin-y. I need to have several more pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks. I need to go to a corn maze and haunted houses. I need to catch Halloween Town on the Disney channel. And I need to create a new tradition.

School is going really great. I have this professor- Dr. Ryan. This is the third semester that I have had him. He's tough- you'll have to do some work- a lot of it. But, I take him because he really knows his stuff. He gives 5 major grades in his class a quiz grade (he gives 22 quizzes in a semester and averages them for your final quiz grade), 2 essays, and 2 in-class essays. I have never gotten anything better than a B on one of his in-class essays and I have never gotten anything better than a C on the out of class essays. We took our first in-class a couple weeks ago. I was feeling ok about it going into the class.....you see he gives you a sheet with like 18 possible essay questions. You go home and write thesis statements to prepare for writing about them....then you come into class and he picks 4 of those and you write on 3 of them. But, when I got to class the 4 he chose were the 4 I felt the least confident about. I struggled writing them- in fact I was still writing the third one as class was wrapping up and I thought I wouldn't finish. So, when I was evaluating how I did afterward I thought- maybe I'll get another B. We finally got the tests back last Friday..............and I got my first A. I was ecstatic. I even put it on the fridge. I'm doing pretty dang good in every other class, too. I think this will be a productive semester.

My goal is to write here every day. I don't know if this will be successful....but I am willing to try.