Things have changed....
...you can find me here:
meghannmcfadden.blogspot.com
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
The Epic
It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm sitting here in a state of mixed feelings. I'm nervous. Excited. Scared. And at the same time completely at ease. All I can think about is how in one week I will more than likely be laying in a bed at my parents house feeling all of these emotions times one million. I can't imagine that I will be sleeping, although I will know that I should be.
Too much excitement is going to be keeping me awake. Did we get everything done? Did we forget something? Will it rain? Will I look pretty? Will I fall?
I will only live one more week of my life as Meghann Leigh Shoulders. I've gone 25 years as a certain identity. Was I living my entire life to prepare to become a different legal name? Was I born Meghann McFadden and just not know it?
Does our name decide who we are?
In my church, the sacrament of marriage is permanent. We went through several hours of counseling and took a test to make sure this is the right decision. The test highlighted issues that might need further discussion. It isn't pass/fail. It's just a way to begin conversation of the things we might need to discuss before we jump into this. We had to be prepared to face all obstacles. This really is through good times and bad.
I've never once doubted my decision to live the rest of my life with Mike. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him long ago. We have been through rough storms, and I know we will have more to come. But at the end of the day, I can't imagine fighting with anyone else. I can't imagine anyone else being the father of my children. And, I can't imagine growing old without him leading the way.
He's my best friend. I found in him all of the qualities I was ever looking for. He is a breathing example of the cliche: he completes me. While we share many traits in common, he picks up the slack in my faults. I am the realistic one, he is the dreamer. I am vulnerable, he is the protector. I am the planner, he is spontaneous. We are a balance.
I am not nervous to marry him, but I am nervous about the changes that will take place in our lives because we are married. Will I be a good wife? When will we have children? Will we be good parents? Is marriage different than what our lives are like right now? Am I old enough to be doing this?
At times I tell myself, this isn't a big deal. You've lived together for three years now. It's just a piece of paper.
But, it is a big deal.
I am going in front of my family and friends and proclaiming my choice in front of God.
How many times in YOUR life do you proclaim something in front of God? This is important. I am promising to have and to hold in sickness and in health.
I am proclaiming that I am in love
that I have found my soul mate
that I am going to live in unity
that I have made an educated decision
that as a Catholic I will marry Michael Patrick McFadden.
Even though I know I won't, I hope that in one week I can tell myself to be at ease. That even though we might have forgotten something, no matter how I look, even if I fall none of that will matter. I hope that in one week I will be sleeping and ready for not only the most important day in my life thus far, but for the most exciting.
Nik keeps telling me, it's just a party. A big party- and if I know how to do anything- it's how to throw a party.
In the fall semester of 2008, I took an Expository Writing class. We were instructed to do some research on our names and write something about what we found. I've been saving posting this for a long time. Maybe I should have waited a few more days, but I couldn't anymore. I am anxious and excited. It's not perfect, but for the occasion, I believe fitting.
Enjoy!
Too much excitement is going to be keeping me awake. Did we get everything done? Did we forget something? Will it rain? Will I look pretty? Will I fall?
I will only live one more week of my life as Meghann Leigh Shoulders. I've gone 25 years as a certain identity. Was I living my entire life to prepare to become a different legal name? Was I born Meghann McFadden and just not know it?
Does our name decide who we are?
In my church, the sacrament of marriage is permanent. We went through several hours of counseling and took a test to make sure this is the right decision. The test highlighted issues that might need further discussion. It isn't pass/fail. It's just a way to begin conversation of the things we might need to discuss before we jump into this. We had to be prepared to face all obstacles. This really is through good times and bad.
I've never once doubted my decision to live the rest of my life with Mike. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him long ago. We have been through rough storms, and I know we will have more to come. But at the end of the day, I can't imagine fighting with anyone else. I can't imagine anyone else being the father of my children. And, I can't imagine growing old without him leading the way.
He's my best friend. I found in him all of the qualities I was ever looking for. He is a breathing example of the cliche: he completes me. While we share many traits in common, he picks up the slack in my faults. I am the realistic one, he is the dreamer. I am vulnerable, he is the protector. I am the planner, he is spontaneous. We are a balance.
I am not nervous to marry him, but I am nervous about the changes that will take place in our lives because we are married. Will I be a good wife? When will we have children? Will we be good parents? Is marriage different than what our lives are like right now? Am I old enough to be doing this?
At times I tell myself, this isn't a big deal. You've lived together for three years now. It's just a piece of paper.
But, it is a big deal.
I am going in front of my family and friends and proclaiming my choice in front of God.
How many times in YOUR life do you proclaim something in front of God? This is important. I am promising to have and to hold in sickness and in health.
I am proclaiming that I am in love
that I have found my soul mate
that I am going to live in unity
that I have made an educated decision
that as a Catholic I will marry Michael Patrick McFadden.
Even though I know I won't, I hope that in one week I can tell myself to be at ease. That even though we might have forgotten something, no matter how I look, even if I fall none of that will matter. I hope that in one week I will be sleeping and ready for not only the most important day in my life thus far, but for the most exciting.
Nik keeps telling me, it's just a party. A big party- and if I know how to do anything- it's how to throw a party.
In the fall semester of 2008, I took an Expository Writing class. We were instructed to do some research on our names and write something about what we found. I've been saving posting this for a long time. Maybe I should have waited a few more days, but I couldn't anymore. I am anxious and excited. It's not perfect, but for the occasion, I believe fitting.
Enjoy!
I was never going to be a Janet or a Donna like my father wanted. Brianne was nice, but just not quite right. Meghann was just simply the only possible name I could ever have. My parents are educators and stress the importance of literature in people's lives. It isn't surprising then that I am named after a character in one of my mother's favorite books: Meg from The Thorn Birds. Staying true to the roots of the Irish name, my mother spelled it as obnoxiously as the name could be spelled. The Irish eventually dropped the second “n” in the spelling and Americans went even further to drop the “h.” Because of this progression, the original spelling has become less and less common. The name didn't reach popularity in the United States until the 1970s and still isn't one of the most popular names today. So, not only do I have an uncommon name, but I have one of the most uncommon ways of spelling it. I thought I could definitively declare that I was the only Meghann Shoulders ever in existence. I found out, I wasn't exactly right. According to the research I have found, I feel confident in saying I am the only MeghanN Shoulders in the world, but one of only two Megan's in general. A Megan Shoulders lives in Alabama, but beyond the two of us- that appears to be it.
I guess it just sticks within my personality that I would be one of very few with my full name. After twenty-four years of being much different than everyone around me, I have a tendency to want to be the only person to possess and harbor everything about myself. I want to be the only person that wears Gap Dream body spray. I want to be the only person who has a bad day and eats pasta to make it go away. I want to be the only person to be named Meghann Shoulders. In a way, it is fitting that Meghann means “a pearl” -an object that is frequently used to suggest rarity. While my parents were choosing the name for their own personal reasons, they didn't know they were shaping their daughter's destiny.
As far as my last name, it is absurd. I have always found body parts to be rather unfortunate last names, and for a long time I resented it. Why couldn't I have been Meghann Smith or Meghann Jones? But, it wouldn't have fit. As I did with most unpleasantries in my life, I used comedy to get used to my unique surname. Anytime I had to give someone the spelling, were it to run a credit check or access my bank account, I would proudly state, “Shoulders- like the body part.”
Most people gained their last names by their profession or some quality that singled them out. It is believed that Shoulders was given as a last name because of a person with very broad shoulders, or was given from the word “Shoveller,” old English name given to a person who's occupation was to shovel. There is very little information known as to where the name originated in general and especially where my family of Shoulders came from. The name is shrouded in mystery. Remarkably, along my way in life I have occasionally been asked by people I meet if I am of relation to other Shoulders they know, and several times I haven't been. I am always surprised by this. I just always imaged we were the only ones.
This May I am getting married. My father, the man who gave me my last name, will allow me to be sent off to the man who will give me my new identity. Meghann Shoulders is going to instantly be turned into a Meghann McFadden. Luckily for her, Megan Shoulders of Alabama will likely be the only one of our kind left. Because of their Irish origins, I will enter a sea of the many Meghann, Meghan, and Megan McFadden's in the world. I will no longer rely on my name as defining who I am. I can't use the line, “McFadden- like the....” because nothing seems to fill in the blank. For the first time, I will allow someone else to make part of me ordinary. But, I guess Juliet was right; s rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. No matter what you call me, I will always be a rare pearl.
Friday, April 17, 2009
The buzz the bang and the za za zoo
I haven't heard back from the cardiologist about my echo cardiogram. I have called his office twice, and both times I was told they would call me back. The second time the receptionist told me "no news is good news" and that if something was wrong, they probably would have already called me. She said this more in a tone to tell me to quit calling, though...so I don't know. I'm going to assume I am fine, though.
Although, the heart palps haven't stopped. They haven't gotten nearly as bad as the first night- but they have probably happened 5 or 6 more times. I'm not doctor, but I think I am having mini panic attacks- stress related...I have just over a month to go until the wedding, school, home life, and some other things going on right now...I mean it makes sense...I just hate it and wish it would stop.
In two- two and a half hours, my mom and I are leaving for Springfield, MO. She called me up Tuesday night and asked if I would drive her to go pick up a new standard poodle puppy. She didn't realize that's where Kashmir lives and was really happy for this surprising turn of events. So, I get to hang out with the 'Mir tonight and I couldn't be more excited. I haven't seen Kashmir since last summer and before that it was years.
I have made huge progress on wedding related things. I bought almost everything we need minus my veil, earrings, mike's wedding band, and contacts for me. Other than that our only other expenses are things like finish paying for our cake and paying to use the church and stuff. But as far as material items, we are almost done. I recently ordered our cake topper, my shoes, some favors and other things. I have been tying ribbons around things like crazy. It took me 3 hours to tie ribbons around sixty bottles of bubbles. I have eighty to go.
The best news of all is that we finally bought centerpieces. Our theme is "rustic garden party" and I really wanted to buy galvanized watering cans and use wildflowers in them. This turned into a really hard and difficult task. I couldn't find them at a reasonable price...I could find like one for five dollars and then the rest were anywhere from 30 to 200 a piece. Unreasonable. So then, we "regrouped" and tried thinking of a different idea. So, I found these really cute candle lanterns for 9.00 a piece. They were white with green vines painted on the glass. Really adorable, and I thought fit the theme. Well, Mike and I were at Hobby Lobby and we are looking around and Mike keeps trying to change the idea and is talking about doing class vases and stuff and I was getting REALLY frustrated because I felt like he was taking away from our original vision and I didn't want to do something normal. I didn't want glass vases- it's just not me.
Well...we are walking around trying to find stuff and Mike walks off without me as I go down another aisle. I found these green buckets, that I thought might be useful for something and I was calling Mike to come look. At the same time he is calling me to go see what he has. After a minute of "no you come here- no you come HERE" I finally gave in and went to see what he had spotted...
lo and behold....Mike found watering cans at 50% off. They aren't exactly galvanized. Some have decorations on them, some are plain but they are effing cute.
Now, we are working on our playlist for the reception. It's really hard, too...I want people to dance, but I also want to play music I like...but some of that isn't good for dancing, or the um..older people at the wedding will not know it and might not dance because of that...so I am trying to balance things out.
I just can't wait for it to be here and then zooming off to Vegas....we BOTH need a vacation.
Although, the heart palps haven't stopped. They haven't gotten nearly as bad as the first night- but they have probably happened 5 or 6 more times. I'm not doctor, but I think I am having mini panic attacks- stress related...I have just over a month to go until the wedding, school, home life, and some other things going on right now...I mean it makes sense...I just hate it and wish it would stop.
In two- two and a half hours, my mom and I are leaving for Springfield, MO. She called me up Tuesday night and asked if I would drive her to go pick up a new standard poodle puppy. She didn't realize that's where Kashmir lives and was really happy for this surprising turn of events. So, I get to hang out with the 'Mir tonight and I couldn't be more excited. I haven't seen Kashmir since last summer and before that it was years.
I have made huge progress on wedding related things. I bought almost everything we need minus my veil, earrings, mike's wedding band, and contacts for me. Other than that our only other expenses are things like finish paying for our cake and paying to use the church and stuff. But as far as material items, we are almost done. I recently ordered our cake topper, my shoes, some favors and other things. I have been tying ribbons around things like crazy. It took me 3 hours to tie ribbons around sixty bottles of bubbles. I have eighty to go.
The best news of all is that we finally bought centerpieces. Our theme is "rustic garden party" and I really wanted to buy galvanized watering cans and use wildflowers in them. This turned into a really hard and difficult task. I couldn't find them at a reasonable price...I could find like one for five dollars and then the rest were anywhere from 30 to 200 a piece. Unreasonable. So then, we "regrouped" and tried thinking of a different idea. So, I found these really cute candle lanterns for 9.00 a piece. They were white with green vines painted on the glass. Really adorable, and I thought fit the theme. Well, Mike and I were at Hobby Lobby and we are looking around and Mike keeps trying to change the idea and is talking about doing class vases and stuff and I was getting REALLY frustrated because I felt like he was taking away from our original vision and I didn't want to do something normal. I didn't want glass vases- it's just not me.
Well...we are walking around trying to find stuff and Mike walks off without me as I go down another aisle. I found these green buckets, that I thought might be useful for something and I was calling Mike to come look. At the same time he is calling me to go see what he has. After a minute of "no you come here- no you come HERE" I finally gave in and went to see what he had spotted...
lo and behold....Mike found watering cans at 50% off. They aren't exactly galvanized. Some have decorations on them, some are plain but they are effing cute.
Now, we are working on our playlist for the reception. It's really hard, too...I want people to dance, but I also want to play music I like...but some of that isn't good for dancing, or the um..older people at the wedding will not know it and might not dance because of that...so I am trying to balance things out.
I just can't wait for it to be here and then zooming off to Vegas....we BOTH need a vacation.
Friday, April 3, 2009
The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week
Well...this week past week will probably go down as a contender for one of the worst weeks of my life.
Let's recap:
Two Thursdays ago my family dog is put to sleep.
The next day my cat goes missing for two days, putting me under lots of stress and fragile nerves.
Monday my car breaks down.
and the finale...
drum roll.........
Wednesday I go to the emergency room.
First, I don't go to the hospital. I don't have insurance- lost it when I dropped out of college the first time around. I have no business being in a place so dang expensive.
However, Wednesday night me and the fam minus my dad are watching Lost- our Wednesday night ritual. We ate sandwiches for dinner. I did not eat well that day- in fact- hardly anything. After one sandwich I was still starving and went downstairs to make another one during a commercial break. It was taking me a really long time to eat. I started about ten minutes before Lost started and I finished at like 8:40- two sandwiches took me almost an hour.
Anyway, that is all probably really irrelevant. Sometime after finishing, I started to get really thirsty- my mouth was just so dry. Then, I started to get really funny feeling. My heart was beating hard- like pounding through my chest, but the beat was really off and irregular. Then, everything started going black and I could physically feel myself slipping- like I was going to past out. But, I felt this surge of energy and pushed myself out of it. I pretended everything was ok, but it happened again, almost immediately.
Nervous, I said outloud "I think I am going to faint." This of course startled my mother. I tried to sit up straight and on the edge of my seat and try to feel completely aware of my body and in control. But, my heart wouldn't stop fluttering and I kept feeling myself try to slip. I managed to hold on through the rest of Lost. As soon as it was over, I went down stairs to the kitchen to get some water and walk around. But after awhile I felt like I should sit. Nothing was going away.
My mom asked if I was ok, and I started crying- which got everyone else worried. I was just really nervous...I couldn't breathe right...my heart felt like it was trying to escape...and I was nervous to try to drive myself home incase I went out cold.
My mom insisted on taking me to the emergency room, so Jason drove me and my mom there.
On the way it got worse. I was hot all over...and really really anxious. I couldn't sit still. When we got to the ER and they gave me my paper work I couldn't remember my information- like my birthday- couldn't tell you...it was really scary.
My mom told the receptionist that I was having heart palpitations and that I had a heart condition. Thankfully, this meant I got to go back almost immediately and by pass the other people who had been waiting for who knows how long. The bad news was, something serious was happening to make me go before everyone else.
So they took me back by myself and immediately hooked me up to an EKG machine and started taking my vitals and stuff. I told the nurse everything that happened, told her about my heart condition, and mentioned that I had worked out that day- alot more that what I usually do.
After some people came in and out of my room, they took a chest x-ray- which by the way they brought the x-ray machine to my room- how cool is that? Then they took some blood samples. THEN they took me to have a CT scan on my head and my chest. They were most concerned with my chest scan to look at my aorta....I have this condition called Marfan Syndrome- google it. But, one thing is that I am prone to tearing my aorta- and they wanted to see if it was ok.
It was just so strange- not knowing what the heck was wrong with me- it's like...usually you go to the ER because you know what happened- oops, you broke your arm...or you stepped on a nail...or your whatever...but I was clueless and terrified. Not to mention, I have recently discovered that I HATE being in confined spaces and that scanning business was unreasonable. They had to give me this IV injection...they called it a Contrast...for my chest scan...the guy administering it told me it would make my whole body hot, my feet tingle, and some people say it makes them feel like they have wet themselves. Because he said some people, I figured I wouldn't experience that....until I did...and I swear to you...it felt like I was peeing my pants...and for a few minutes I thought maybe I had.
Anyway, after four long hours at the ER, several tests, and finally calming down- they really had nothing for me. All of the tests came back fine. They said I was just having heart palpitations which can be brought on from several things...including stress...
I have to say...I think this was a pretty stressful week...
But, because I have Marfan Syndrome and haven't seen a doctor about it in about seven years, the doctor said he wanted me to have an ultra sound done on my heart. I used to have this done every year from the time I was diagnosed in 1991 until I graduated in 2002.
So, I got that scheduled for today. It was surreal- I hadn't done that in so long- but it was something so regular in my life. My heart looks like an African boy playing a drum...seriously...I also got to hear it...I remember when I was a kid that part used to give my dad the heebeejeebees. When I was a kid, they had tv's hanging from the ceiling to keep us still during the procedure. The first time I went, they were playing a Muppet movie. It was just really weird...doing this again...but being grown. It would be like...selling lemonade on the side of the road or trying to play with Barbies...
It's going to be awhile until I get the results. I just hope I'm ok and I hope I don't have to have any kind of surgery or anything. I hope it was all just stress and a minor freak out.
So, goodbye week of march 26th, 2009- april 1st, 2009. I hope I never have to think of you ever again. Thanks for all the horrible memories...panic feelings....and keeping me stranded.
Here's to a better tomorrow.
Let's recap:
Two Thursdays ago my family dog is put to sleep.
The next day my cat goes missing for two days, putting me under lots of stress and fragile nerves.
Monday my car breaks down.
and the finale...
drum roll.........
Wednesday I go to the emergency room.
First, I don't go to the hospital. I don't have insurance- lost it when I dropped out of college the first time around. I have no business being in a place so dang expensive.
However, Wednesday night me and the fam minus my dad are watching Lost- our Wednesday night ritual. We ate sandwiches for dinner. I did not eat well that day- in fact- hardly anything. After one sandwich I was still starving and went downstairs to make another one during a commercial break. It was taking me a really long time to eat. I started about ten minutes before Lost started and I finished at like 8:40- two sandwiches took me almost an hour.
Anyway, that is all probably really irrelevant. Sometime after finishing, I started to get really thirsty- my mouth was just so dry. Then, I started to get really funny feeling. My heart was beating hard- like pounding through my chest, but the beat was really off and irregular. Then, everything started going black and I could physically feel myself slipping- like I was going to past out. But, I felt this surge of energy and pushed myself out of it. I pretended everything was ok, but it happened again, almost immediately.
Nervous, I said outloud "I think I am going to faint." This of course startled my mother. I tried to sit up straight and on the edge of my seat and try to feel completely aware of my body and in control. But, my heart wouldn't stop fluttering and I kept feeling myself try to slip. I managed to hold on through the rest of Lost. As soon as it was over, I went down stairs to the kitchen to get some water and walk around. But after awhile I felt like I should sit. Nothing was going away.
My mom asked if I was ok, and I started crying- which got everyone else worried. I was just really nervous...I couldn't breathe right...my heart felt like it was trying to escape...and I was nervous to try to drive myself home incase I went out cold.
My mom insisted on taking me to the emergency room, so Jason drove me and my mom there.
On the way it got worse. I was hot all over...and really really anxious. I couldn't sit still. When we got to the ER and they gave me my paper work I couldn't remember my information- like my birthday- couldn't tell you...it was really scary.
My mom told the receptionist that I was having heart palpitations and that I had a heart condition. Thankfully, this meant I got to go back almost immediately and by pass the other people who had been waiting for who knows how long. The bad news was, something serious was happening to make me go before everyone else.
So they took me back by myself and immediately hooked me up to an EKG machine and started taking my vitals and stuff. I told the nurse everything that happened, told her about my heart condition, and mentioned that I had worked out that day- alot more that what I usually do.
After some people came in and out of my room, they took a chest x-ray- which by the way they brought the x-ray machine to my room- how cool is that? Then they took some blood samples. THEN they took me to have a CT scan on my head and my chest. They were most concerned with my chest scan to look at my aorta....I have this condition called Marfan Syndrome- google it. But, one thing is that I am prone to tearing my aorta- and they wanted to see if it was ok.
It was just so strange- not knowing what the heck was wrong with me- it's like...usually you go to the ER because you know what happened- oops, you broke your arm...or you stepped on a nail...or your whatever...but I was clueless and terrified. Not to mention, I have recently discovered that I HATE being in confined spaces and that scanning business was unreasonable. They had to give me this IV injection...they called it a Contrast...for my chest scan...the guy administering it told me it would make my whole body hot, my feet tingle, and some people say it makes them feel like they have wet themselves. Because he said some people, I figured I wouldn't experience that....until I did...and I swear to you...it felt like I was peeing my pants...and for a few minutes I thought maybe I had.
Anyway, after four long hours at the ER, several tests, and finally calming down- they really had nothing for me. All of the tests came back fine. They said I was just having heart palpitations which can be brought on from several things...including stress...
I have to say...I think this was a pretty stressful week...
But, because I have Marfan Syndrome and haven't seen a doctor about it in about seven years, the doctor said he wanted me to have an ultra sound done on my heart. I used to have this done every year from the time I was diagnosed in 1991 until I graduated in 2002.
So, I got that scheduled for today. It was surreal- I hadn't done that in so long- but it was something so regular in my life. My heart looks like an African boy playing a drum...seriously...I also got to hear it...I remember when I was a kid that part used to give my dad the heebeejeebees. When I was a kid, they had tv's hanging from the ceiling to keep us still during the procedure. The first time I went, they were playing a Muppet movie. It was just really weird...doing this again...but being grown. It would be like...selling lemonade on the side of the road or trying to play with Barbies...
It's going to be awhile until I get the results. I just hope I'm ok and I hope I don't have to have any kind of surgery or anything. I hope it was all just stress and a minor freak out.
So, goodbye week of march 26th, 2009- april 1st, 2009. I hope I never have to think of you ever again. Thanks for all the horrible memories...panic feelings....and keeping me stranded.
Here's to a better tomorrow.
Monday, March 30, 2009
The Domino Effect
If it's not one thing, it's another...
Friday, some guys came over to the house to replace our bathroom floor and do some stuff to our shower. They got there around ten am with a key they picked up from the realtor we rent from. They were there all day and didn't leave until sometime after five. As soon as they were gone, Mike and I got ready to head over to my parent's house for game night with some family members and pizza. We didn't end up getting home until almost two. Usually when I come home after being gone for so long, both of the animals, Zoe and Mable, greet me. After being home for about twenty minutes, Mable was nowhere to be found.
I went around to her usual hiding places (in the windows, under beds, under couches) and she wasn't there. Mike and I searched the entire house room by room, ruling each one out. She was nowhere to be found. We then went looking outside for about an hour and a half trying to find her. We called her name, brought her toys that make noise, and even left out food. Nothing.
We had a lot going on Saturday for the wedding and needed to get to sleep, so around 4:30, we finally turned in.
Apart of me hoped that when we woke up, she would be waiting on the front steps....but no. We were gone for several hours, and came home to no cat, again. However, the food we left out had been eaten, but didn't know by who. I continued to check outside, sometimes sitting out there for long periods calling her name. We finally left the front and back door open in case she wondered back.
By the time we went to bed Saturday night, she still wasn't home. I feared she might never make it back and my heart hurt- just coming off of the death of Hershey.
On Sunday, we went over to my parents again to celebrate Ryan's birthday. We were practically gone all day, so we weren't able to keep an eye out for her. We finally come home around 9ish. As we pulled up into the driveway, I noticed eyes staring at me. Underneath the windows in the front of our house are these grates that see into the crawl space under our house. Perched on a ledge and peering out the grate: Mable. Mike and I ran inside the house to get proper cat catching tools, flash lights, kennel, keys to the lock on the door to the crawl space, proper shoes and attire, and a can of tuna.
We got underneath the house (one of my biggest fears) and at first you can stand completely straight up....but as you get further down you have to lean over and eventually crawl. We looked all around but couldn't see her anywhere. We called her name and made clicking tongue sounds for about twenty minutes and nothing. We left the opened can of tuna in case she was hungry, and left. We checked outside of the house to see if there was any kind of exist she could take, but found nothing.
We went back inside for two hours and tried again. This time, Mike found her in a corner neither of us could get to. We again tried calling her name but she wouldn't come. She looked terrified. Long story short, after being down there for about an hour this time and Mike and I both having to over come some fears (me: being under the house and him: spiders) we finally got her. Mike managed to crawl to the perch where I originally saw her from the outside and where she had now slinked into. I went back into the house and grabbed some pillow cases. Even though we brought Zoe's kennel with us...Mike was on the other side of the space and I couldn't get it to him, and he couldn't carry her out on his hands and knees. So, I got two pillowcases, and Mike gently put her into one, and double bagged her with the other and carried her out like Santa's bag of toys.
We finally got out of the underworld and inside the house. I unwrapped her and cuddled her to pieces and even Zoe came over and gave her kisses. After running away from us, exploring the house, and drinking some water she wouldn't leave my side and purred the entire night away.
I had just come to the realization that I would never see her again...but we found her! The scary part is, if I hadn't of seen her in the grate there, who knows how long she would have been down there unnoticed. She could have died down there.
So, great...that's over with. I didn't lose two animals in two days.
But, I have the worst luck ever. Today, I went to the post office to get stamps for our wedding invites. On my way into the parking lot, I popped a curb. When I came outside, my car wouldn't start. I had to call Jef to come get me, and now I have to wait and see if it can be fixed.
Ugh.
Friday, some guys came over to the house to replace our bathroom floor and do some stuff to our shower. They got there around ten am with a key they picked up from the realtor we rent from. They were there all day and didn't leave until sometime after five. As soon as they were gone, Mike and I got ready to head over to my parent's house for game night with some family members and pizza. We didn't end up getting home until almost two. Usually when I come home after being gone for so long, both of the animals, Zoe and Mable, greet me. After being home for about twenty minutes, Mable was nowhere to be found.
I went around to her usual hiding places (in the windows, under beds, under couches) and she wasn't there. Mike and I searched the entire house room by room, ruling each one out. She was nowhere to be found. We then went looking outside for about an hour and a half trying to find her. We called her name, brought her toys that make noise, and even left out food. Nothing.
We had a lot going on Saturday for the wedding and needed to get to sleep, so around 4:30, we finally turned in.
Apart of me hoped that when we woke up, she would be waiting on the front steps....but no. We were gone for several hours, and came home to no cat, again. However, the food we left out had been eaten, but didn't know by who. I continued to check outside, sometimes sitting out there for long periods calling her name. We finally left the front and back door open in case she wondered back.
By the time we went to bed Saturday night, she still wasn't home. I feared she might never make it back and my heart hurt- just coming off of the death of Hershey.
On Sunday, we went over to my parents again to celebrate Ryan's birthday. We were practically gone all day, so we weren't able to keep an eye out for her. We finally come home around 9ish. As we pulled up into the driveway, I noticed eyes staring at me. Underneath the windows in the front of our house are these grates that see into the crawl space under our house. Perched on a ledge and peering out the grate: Mable. Mike and I ran inside the house to get proper cat catching tools, flash lights, kennel, keys to the lock on the door to the crawl space, proper shoes and attire, and a can of tuna.
We got underneath the house (one of my biggest fears) and at first you can stand completely straight up....but as you get further down you have to lean over and eventually crawl. We looked all around but couldn't see her anywhere. We called her name and made clicking tongue sounds for about twenty minutes and nothing. We left the opened can of tuna in case she was hungry, and left. We checked outside of the house to see if there was any kind of exist she could take, but found nothing.
We went back inside for two hours and tried again. This time, Mike found her in a corner neither of us could get to. We again tried calling her name but she wouldn't come. She looked terrified. Long story short, after being down there for about an hour this time and Mike and I both having to over come some fears (me: being under the house and him: spiders) we finally got her. Mike managed to crawl to the perch where I originally saw her from the outside and where she had now slinked into. I went back into the house and grabbed some pillow cases. Even though we brought Zoe's kennel with us...Mike was on the other side of the space and I couldn't get it to him, and he couldn't carry her out on his hands and knees. So, I got two pillowcases, and Mike gently put her into one, and double bagged her with the other and carried her out like Santa's bag of toys.
We finally got out of the underworld and inside the house. I unwrapped her and cuddled her to pieces and even Zoe came over and gave her kisses. After running away from us, exploring the house, and drinking some water she wouldn't leave my side and purred the entire night away.
I had just come to the realization that I would never see her again...but we found her! The scary part is, if I hadn't of seen her in the grate there, who knows how long she would have been down there unnoticed. She could have died down there.
So, great...that's over with. I didn't lose two animals in two days.
But, I have the worst luck ever. Today, I went to the post office to get stamps for our wedding invites. On my way into the parking lot, I popped a curb. When I came outside, my car wouldn't start. I had to call Jef to come get me, and now I have to wait and see if it can be fixed.
Ugh.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
The Celebration of Life
In 1995, my parents told me we were getting a puppy. I was in the fifth grade then and having never owned an animal that didn't live in a cage, I was ecstatic. To be honest, I don't know why my parents decided to do this. Neither of my parents had really shown much interest in larger animals before. My mom had always kept guinea pigs in her classroom. That seemed normal to me, mostly because they were so easy to care for. Whatever the reason, they made it and started looking into what kind of dog to get. A local vet in town was breeding standard poodles and just had a litter. My mom and I went down there to pick one out. She decided she wanted a chocolate colored one, and there were three to pick from. After playing around with each of the three, we choose ours because she was the only puppy to give us kisses.
We named her Hershey. One, because she was chocolate colored and two. because my mother has always had a bit of sweet tooth for the candy.
I remember the first night they brought her home. I thought it was neat that each puppy was sent home with their own blanket and stuffed animal. Hershey came with a Miss Piggy doll, which was also my affectionate stuffed animal as a child. We were meant to be. That night, we kept her in a kennel, as she was not house broken. I was upset, because I wanted her to sleep in my bed. She whined all night. When none of us could get any sleep, my dad put her kennel in the bathroom. The bathroom was in the center of the house and only caused the noise to get worse with echo. Eventually, my parents moved her into the garage, but none of us got a good nights sleep.
Having a puppy for the first time was hard- especially the house training bit. She went all the time! She also had a really bad habit of nipping at my ankles when I walked throughout the house and I really hated that.
But, I did love watching her grow. I remember I used to play this game where I would run from my parents bed into the livingroom and jump up on an easy chair. She wasn't big enough to jump up there with me so she would just chase me from room to room. One night, as we were playing this game, she hopped up into the chair with me. I was excited she was finally getting bigger.
Standard poodles are very smart, and we were able to teach her LOTS of fun tricks. Not only the usualy sit and shake...but she also played dead when we "shot" her with a BANG! She learned commands fast.
Hershey became an extension of our family, not just a pet.
I viewed her almost like a sister....if that makes any sense at all. In high school, she always slept in my bed with me. She would sleep on the pillow next to me with her face turned away and she let me rest my head on her hip. She was a great confidant, and always let my cry into her fur in sadness and was always ready to play during happy times.
It was hard going off to college for the first time. Living in dorms, I was never around animals. On my first visit back home as soon as I stepped into the door she bombarded me with kisses...the signature trade mark of hers- the reason we choose her in the first place.
Because we got her so early, it's hard to remember what our lives were like before her. She's been there through every holiday, celebration, and hardship.
My parents always got her groomed regularly. They liked the look of a groomed poodle, but I always preferred Hershey looking a little rough around the edges.
Sometime around 2005, Hershey's health and age caught up with her. She started to get sad that the family was no longer living there anymore and became very lazy and uninterested in playing or her other usual activities. She also developed very bad arthritis and had a hard time getting on the bed. In 2005, I moved back home for a bit and brought with me my cat Audrey.
Having a young cat in the house did a lot of good for Hershey. It made her young again. Chasing the cat around improved her spirits and her arthritis got better.
We have this weird tradition in our family called Family Hug. At the end of celebrations or family gatherings usually my dad announces FAMILY HUG and well, we all hug. Hersh was always in on the act. She would jump into the center of us and make sure to give almost every one there a kiss. (Don't mind my dad's belly there....but you can see Hershey in the middle, kinda)
Last year, Jeannette gave me Zoe when she moved. I was nervous how Hershey was going to react. Hershey was never around other dogs much and never learned how to communicate with them. Gladly, they became the best of friends- Hershey's first dog friend.
On March 12th of this year Hershey turned 14 years old. I brought her over a hamburger. She ate it, threw it all up, and ate it again. I think she liked it both times. :)
A couple weeks ago, my mom sent everyone in the family a message on facebook telling us that Hershey wasn't doing so good. She was a very old lady, and the doctors thought she had cancer. They didn't know how much time she had left, and my parents decided to let her have as much as she could have to be comfortable. Jason brought her a roastbeef sandwich and my parents cooked her rice every night.
Every Wednesday, my family gets together to watch Lost. Tonight, when I arrived my mother was acting weird, but I brushed it off, knowing she was just upset that Hershey was sick. After dinner and after the show, my parents broke the news.
Tomorrow, Hershey is being put to sleep.
Although my heart is breaking. Although I know I will never get to see her again, rub her belly, or give her kisses one more time- I know she lived the best life a dog could ever live. She wanted for nothing. She had all the toys, treats, and love any dog has ever had. She had a warm bed to sleep in every night. She was never abused, was taken for walks, and LOVED to go bye-bye.
But losing her, is losing a member of my family and no matter what- it's hard.
I'm going to miss you Hershey Lou. Thank you for 14 wonderful years.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
The Cowardly Lion
I have done several things this week and the past couple of weeks that should have scared the nonsense out of me. I have pushed the boundaries of my comfort zone. I have overcome obstacles I never thought I could.
Maybe this big, big world isn't as scary as I once thought it was.
I sent Ryan an email asking if he wanted to go to this with me: http://www.ussoccer.com/articles/viewArticle.jsp_12484615.html
Although he didn't say no, he didn't exactly say yes, either. I really want to go. I have never seen a professional sport live before, and I really like soccer. If anyone wants to go with me, holler at your girl.
...
I decorated my house for Spring...bye bye Winter, I refuse to acknowledge you exist anymore.
I watched Seabiscuit for the first time tonight...took me awhile to get around to that one....I pretty much liked it...I have a soft spot for animal movies, sports movies, and Toby Maguire movies....I mean...there was just not anyway I wasn't going to like it.
I want to sound my barbaric YALP!
Maybe this big, big world isn't as scary as I once thought it was.
I sent Ryan an email asking if he wanted to go to this with me: http://www.ussoccer.com/
Although he didn't say no, he didn't exactly say yes, either. I really want to go. I have never seen a professional sport live before, and I really like soccer. If anyone wants to go with me, holler at your girl.
...
I decorated my house for Spring...bye bye Winter, I refuse to acknowledge you exist anymore.
I watched Seabiscuit for the first time tonight...took me awhile to get around to that one....I pretty much liked it...I have a soft spot for animal movies, sports movies, and Toby Maguire movies....I mean...there was just not anyway I wasn't going to like it.
I want to sound my barbaric YALP!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
The Springing
Seriously. I am 25 years old. When am I going to stop having pimples? Seriously. When does this end?
Things with school have been stressful as have wedding things...but I can honestly saying this one of the best times in my life. I am so content. I have a great relationship, family, and friends. I am productive and feel great about myself.
Today, on my way to school- I rolled down the windows, cranked up the music, and rocked out. I miss feeling infinite. I wish Kashmir was here.
But, this time of year is just wonderful- I am elated.
I hope winter is finally behind us. I am ready for Spring. I am re-birthing my life. I am ready for things to bloom.
Things with school have been stressful as have wedding things...but I can honestly saying this one of the best times in my life. I am so content. I have a great relationship, family, and friends. I am productive and feel great about myself.
Today, on my way to school- I rolled down the windows, cranked up the music, and rocked out. I miss feeling infinite. I wish Kashmir was here.
But, this time of year is just wonderful- I am elated.
I hope winter is finally behind us. I am ready for Spring. I am re-birthing my life. I am ready for things to bloom.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Blood Bath
It's been too long. I never should have let this happen. Ok, so I have some highlights since the last blog.
I am a true klutz. I will find a way to hurt myself if there is any obstacle in my path. Although this isn't the most recent news, it relates to what happened about 40 minutes ago. I sprained my ankle about three weeks ago. I was cleaning up my living room on a Wednesday night and picked up a 24 case of water to carry to the kitchen table. I got like two steps and slipped. At the time I didn't know how. I didn't find out how for three more days. I just remember I wasn't on my stable two feet anymore. I felt myself slipping away, not knowing why. My left ankle rolled and I remember putting all of my weight on it to catch myself. I think dropped the waters and they went flying everywhere....including some that fell on my right foot leaving a pretty nasty bruise. I layed there for a few minutes flat on my face wondering what to do. I didn't know if I was hurt or how bad and I didn't want to assess the situation because I was assumed the worst. Finally I was brave enough to stand up. It went well. I limped around the house testing it out and everything seemed ok because I could walk a bit. I got some ice and sat back down. And then I started crying. All of the nervousness and hurt finally caught back up with me. I called Mike and he helped my calm down and I started doing some research online about sprained ankles and what to do. After an hour of talking to him and doing my research I got back up again to use the bathroom. I couldn't move. I couldn't put any weight on it at all. Not knowing what to do , I crawled into the office to get my computer chair and wheeled myself around the house for the rest of the night. I took some pain medication and went to sleep assuming everything would be fine in the morning.
It wasn't. I still couldn't walk. I didn't go to school and continued to roll around the house until 4pm, when Jef got off work. He picked up some crutches from my grandma's house for me and bought me an ankle brace. The crutches were awful. It hurt to move and the crutches were uncomfortable. I stayed on them all weekend and missed school again Friday. Finally, on Sunday night I tried putting pressure on my foot, and I could walk but with the crutches. I went back to school that Monday and stayed on the crutches until this past Monday.
I found out later that I slipped on some liquid dish soap that had leaked on my carpet.
Well, tonight I was leaving the house to run up to Food Lion. I have been dieting for almost two weeks now and I was having a serious sugar craving. I decided to get an angel food cake because they are low in sugar and stuff. On my way out the door I stepped on a piece of glass. I bled on the porch...my carpet...and bathroom floor. I am such an idiot. The good thing is it wasn't a bad cut, but for a second I feared I wasn't going to back to walk again. Crisis diverted.
Mike's mother moved in with her new husband and they have been going through all of their stuff and combining two households into one. They decided to use Mark's bedroom furniture, and had nothing to do with his mom's anymore. She has a really nice bedroom set and thought about selling it, but instead gave it to me and Mike as our wedding present. Two weekends ago, Mike, Jef, and Jamie went to pick it up. We decided to move our old furniture into our office as a guest room and had to combine our office and our storage room. This was a huge project and it took all weekend and all of last week to get the house back to normal. I had to throw out some things to make room for everything, including a desk I owned. There just wasn't any room in the new office area. It was really hard for me to admit I had to get rid of it. I know it sounds funny, but I was really emotionally attached to that desk. It's a long story and I won't get into it- but that desk meant a lot to me. Instead, we put some small shelves in there for my desk items like paper, pencils, paper clips, etc- and I told Mike and Jef that I would agree to get rid of the desk on one condition: we would call those shelves the Creation Station. Somehow this turned into Jef and I calling the room the Creation Station Lounge. Mike also went out and bought a huge shelving unit from Sam's Club for some of our previous storage stuff and things for the wedding.
And here is our new bedroom. We still have some work to do. We are going to get some decorations for the dresser and the paintings need to be repositioned and new curtains...It is time to retire the blanket over the big window :) .
And our new guest room:
I wish I had "before" pictures, but I don't. After two years of living here, I didn't have ANY pictures from any of these rooms.
School has been kicking my butt, again. I had a lot of projects due last week and my milestone II interview. I was really nervous about the interview, but thankfully passed with a perfect score!! I think it helped that one of my interviewers was one of my professors and another was a co-worker of my mother's. I'm so happy to be on Spring Break, but I still have a lot to do for school including two midterms coming up and a bunch of projects for my Technology class.
I have also been working on wedding stuff hard core. Jef let me know last night there are TEN weeks until the big day. That is no time at all. I can't believe it. Tomorrow, Jef and Jamie's girlfriend Renee are coming over to help me do some stuff. We are going to print off the invitations and start assembling them among other things.
It's going to be here before I know it. My life is changing so fast. Getting married....one more year until graduation...it's kind of overwhelming.
I told Mike I want to do one last big thing as a single couple. We are going to go camping probably at the end of April. I am excited. I have never been REAL camping before. I just think it will be nice to have some alone time before we get married after all of the hubbub. And, Zoe will get to come too.
I am a true klutz. I will find a way to hurt myself if there is any obstacle in my path. Although this isn't the most recent news, it relates to what happened about 40 minutes ago. I sprained my ankle about three weeks ago. I was cleaning up my living room on a Wednesday night and picked up a 24 case of water to carry to the kitchen table. I got like two steps and slipped. At the time I didn't know how. I didn't find out how for three more days. I just remember I wasn't on my stable two feet anymore. I felt myself slipping away, not knowing why. My left ankle rolled and I remember putting all of my weight on it to catch myself. I think dropped the waters and they went flying everywhere....including some that fell on my right foot leaving a pretty nasty bruise. I layed there for a few minutes flat on my face wondering what to do. I didn't know if I was hurt or how bad and I didn't want to assess the situation because I was assumed the worst. Finally I was brave enough to stand up. It went well. I limped around the house testing it out and everything seemed ok because I could walk a bit. I got some ice and sat back down. And then I started crying. All of the nervousness and hurt finally caught back up with me. I called Mike and he helped my calm down and I started doing some research online about sprained ankles and what to do. After an hour of talking to him and doing my research I got back up again to use the bathroom. I couldn't move. I couldn't put any weight on it at all. Not knowing what to do , I crawled into the office to get my computer chair and wheeled myself around the house for the rest of the night. I took some pain medication and went to sleep assuming everything would be fine in the morning.
It wasn't. I still couldn't walk. I didn't go to school and continued to roll around the house until 4pm, when Jef got off work. He picked up some crutches from my grandma's house for me and bought me an ankle brace. The crutches were awful. It hurt to move and the crutches were uncomfortable. I stayed on them all weekend and missed school again Friday. Finally, on Sunday night I tried putting pressure on my foot, and I could walk but with the crutches. I went back to school that Monday and stayed on the crutches until this past Monday.
I found out later that I slipped on some liquid dish soap that had leaked on my carpet.
Well, tonight I was leaving the house to run up to Food Lion. I have been dieting for almost two weeks now and I was having a serious sugar craving. I decided to get an angel food cake because they are low in sugar and stuff. On my way out the door I stepped on a piece of glass. I bled on the porch...my carpet...and bathroom floor. I am such an idiot. The good thing is it wasn't a bad cut, but for a second I feared I wasn't going to back to walk again. Crisis diverted.
Mike's mother moved in with her new husband and they have been going through all of their stuff and combining two households into one. They decided to use Mark's bedroom furniture, and had nothing to do with his mom's anymore. She has a really nice bedroom set and thought about selling it, but instead gave it to me and Mike as our wedding present. Two weekends ago, Mike, Jef, and Jamie went to pick it up. We decided to move our old furniture into our office as a guest room and had to combine our office and our storage room. This was a huge project and it took all weekend and all of last week to get the house back to normal. I had to throw out some things to make room for everything, including a desk I owned. There just wasn't any room in the new office area. It was really hard for me to admit I had to get rid of it. I know it sounds funny, but I was really emotionally attached to that desk. It's a long story and I won't get into it- but that desk meant a lot to me. Instead, we put some small shelves in there for my desk items like paper, pencils, paper clips, etc- and I told Mike and Jef that I would agree to get rid of the desk on one condition: we would call those shelves the Creation Station. Somehow this turned into Jef and I calling the room the Creation Station Lounge. Mike also went out and bought a huge shelving unit from Sam's Club for some of our previous storage stuff and things for the wedding.
And here is our new bedroom. We still have some work to do. We are going to get some decorations for the dresser and the paintings need to be repositioned and new curtains...It is time to retire the blanket over the big window :) .
And our new guest room:
I wish I had "before" pictures, but I don't. After two years of living here, I didn't have ANY pictures from any of these rooms.
School has been kicking my butt, again. I had a lot of projects due last week and my milestone II interview. I was really nervous about the interview, but thankfully passed with a perfect score!! I think it helped that one of my interviewers was one of my professors and another was a co-worker of my mother's. I'm so happy to be on Spring Break, but I still have a lot to do for school including two midterms coming up and a bunch of projects for my Technology class.
I have also been working on wedding stuff hard core. Jef let me know last night there are TEN weeks until the big day. That is no time at all. I can't believe it. Tomorrow, Jef and Jamie's girlfriend Renee are coming over to help me do some stuff. We are going to print off the invitations and start assembling them among other things.
It's going to be here before I know it. My life is changing so fast. Getting married....one more year until graduation...it's kind of overwhelming.
I told Mike I want to do one last big thing as a single couple. We are going to go camping probably at the end of April. I am excited. I have never been REAL camping before. I just think it will be nice to have some alone time before we get married after all of the hubbub. And, Zoe will get to come too.
Friday, February 13, 2009
The Starting Line
OMG. I thought I was going to have a melt down today. In my grammar class another English Ed major told me that the sign up date for the Praxis content exam is March 24th (I believe). I told her I didn't know if I should take it, and she said if I was planning on graduating in Spring of 2010, then I should.
For those that don't know, I have to take as series of tests to become certified to teach. The content exam will test me in my specific major area: English. I don't know exactly what will be on it. I know for a fact literature questions, but I don't know if grammar will be on there, too.
I asked her how in the heck I would even go about studying for it, and she said they sell practice books and what not.
But my heart just sank. I hadn't even given thought to taking those tests yet, because I still don't feel like I will ever graduate any time soon. But, a year isn't that far away.
So now, on top of my regular classes which require a huge amount of work including (but not limited to) several online portfolios which include lesson plans which I think I am not very good at, yet, not to mention a wedding to finish planning for and my home life, but now I have to dedicate to studying for this test.
UGH!!!!!!!!
There is good news in my life, though. Last night Mike's mom called me to say she was at Walmart and in the Valentine's candy section found bags of M&Ms. Well, I should explain: Our wedding colors are white and green. We thought it would be really clever to give out M&Ms as one of our favors since both of our names start with M's making us the M&M's. They would come PRE-PERSONALIZED. Well, we were going to order special green and white ones from their website, but to do so was incredibly expensive, costing $60. That was way too much than I hoped to pay. So, we compromised and just decided to use the regular assorted colors.
Mike's mom swore up and down that around St. Patrick's day they would have bags of just green M&Ms, but neither Mike nor I have faith in this.
So, Mike's mom was at Walmart and in the Valentine's section there were bags of..........GREEN freaking M&Ms. Why? The bag are advertising that green is the "new color of love" with that sassy green female M&M. So, I went out today and bought 15 bags. I am sure I looked ridiculous, but I got my color.
We are going to wrap them in white tulle with a green bow and it is going to be awesome.
Yay for wedding stuff!!!
I also made a crap ton of phone calls today including calling the church's music director and made an appointment with her for two weeks from tomorrow AND I got Mike a tux fitting scheduled for Monday with a possible florist appointment for the same day.
There are less than 100 days to go, and so far so good- but I don't need to waste anymore time.
ALSO, as Ryan teased me, I said that our honeymoon was going to OFFICIALLY be for Europe, but unfortunately, Mike's work wouldn't give him enough time off to do that....so we are SERIOUSLY OFFICIALLY going to Vegas. We have bought our plane tickets, reserved our hotel room, and bought tickets for two shows including the Beatles' Love and Criss Angel's show Believe. So excited.
Mike comes home at midnight tonight, which will officially be Valentine's Day, so I am giving him his presents as soon as he steps in the door. I got him a bunch of stuff I think he will love. Mike got me a really sweet digital video camera. It is like...the size of a cellphone and it is waterproof...so you could film yourself in the ocean if you wanted to. I have been filming things left and right- I love it.
I went to Target today to get a few last minute items for V-Day. While I was there I saw something strange that had been marked down. They are sock cuffs...to be worn on your feet...they just don't have toes. I don't know when anyone would want to wear these, but I thought they were ridiculous and cute enough to buy. The shoes don't match, but here is a picture:
For those that don't know, I have to take as series of tests to become certified to teach. The content exam will test me in my specific major area: English. I don't know exactly what will be on it. I know for a fact literature questions, but I don't know if grammar will be on there, too.
I asked her how in the heck I would even go about studying for it, and she said they sell practice books and what not.
But my heart just sank. I hadn't even given thought to taking those tests yet, because I still don't feel like I will ever graduate any time soon. But, a year isn't that far away.
So now, on top of my regular classes which require a huge amount of work including (but not limited to) several online portfolios which include lesson plans which I think I am not very good at, yet, not to mention a wedding to finish planning for and my home life, but now I have to dedicate to studying for this test.
UGH!!!!!!!!
There is good news in my life, though. Last night Mike's mom called me to say she was at Walmart and in the Valentine's candy section found bags of M&Ms. Well, I should explain: Our wedding colors are white and green. We thought it would be really clever to give out M&Ms as one of our favors since both of our names start with M's making us the M&M's. They would come PRE-PERSONALIZED. Well, we were going to order special green and white ones from their website, but to do so was incredibly expensive, costing $60. That was way too much than I hoped to pay. So, we compromised and just decided to use the regular assorted colors.
Mike's mom swore up and down that around St. Patrick's day they would have bags of just green M&Ms, but neither Mike nor I have faith in this.
So, Mike's mom was at Walmart and in the Valentine's section there were bags of..........GREEN freaking M&Ms. Why? The bag are advertising that green is the "new color of love" with that sassy green female M&M. So, I went out today and bought 15 bags. I am sure I looked ridiculous, but I got my color.
We are going to wrap them in white tulle with a green bow and it is going to be awesome.
Yay for wedding stuff!!!
I also made a crap ton of phone calls today including calling the church's music director and made an appointment with her for two weeks from tomorrow AND I got Mike a tux fitting scheduled for Monday with a possible florist appointment for the same day.
There are less than 100 days to go, and so far so good- but I don't need to waste anymore time.
ALSO, as Ryan teased me, I said that our honeymoon was going to OFFICIALLY be for Europe, but unfortunately, Mike's work wouldn't give him enough time off to do that....so we are SERIOUSLY OFFICIALLY going to Vegas. We have bought our plane tickets, reserved our hotel room, and bought tickets for two shows including the Beatles' Love and Criss Angel's show Believe. So excited.
Mike comes home at midnight tonight, which will officially be Valentine's Day, so I am giving him his presents as soon as he steps in the door. I got him a bunch of stuff I think he will love. Mike got me a really sweet digital video camera. It is like...the size of a cellphone and it is waterproof...so you could film yourself in the ocean if you wanted to. I have been filming things left and right- I love it.
I went to Target today to get a few last minute items for V-Day. While I was there I saw something strange that had been marked down. They are sock cuffs...to be worn on your feet...they just don't have toes. I don't know when anyone would want to wear these, but I thought they were ridiculous and cute enough to buy. The shoes don't match, but here is a picture:
Sunday, February 1, 2009
The Gas Light Fare
Mike and I went to our first appointment with our priest and then to Target to start our gift registry.
We were both very nervous about the meeting, but everything went very well. We were nervous he might say something about our living arrangement, but he didn't say anything. He filled out some forms with our personal information and then asked a series of questions such as are we related in any way, is anyone forcing us to get married, and does anyone in our families object our marriage. Some of them were really funny. But, we talked about a few minor details about the ceremony, but not much. We have to set up a series of other meetings to really get down to the nitty gritty. He gave us a book where we can select he readings and response song and the vows and what not. He also gave us "homework" and strongly encouraged us to write our wills, fill out the paperwork where you say what you want done to yourself if you can no longer make choices, and give one another power of attorney. He said that when we are married we will automatically have power of attorney, but he said he never know what can happen between now and the wedding date, and we should be prepared. I tried my best to take all of this seriously, but it was really scary. Then we signed some paperwork agreeing that we told the truth and we were on our way.
Target was amazing. I have waited to do this for longer than I have known Mike. I was always very jealous of the girls getting married who got to walk around the store with the big scanning gun. It was weird at times, because we didn't have the best game plan, so we were making choices on things like towels and what not trying to envision what we wanted out of our home. Because we weren't prepared, we didn't pick out an everyday use set of dishes or siverware. But, we had a blast. We were in there for about two hours, and it felt really weird leaving and all we bought were two Ginger Ales.
Signing up with Target:
First scan of the day, a pepper grinder:
Mike's first scan when I finally let him use it:
A job well done:
We were both very nervous about the meeting, but everything went very well. We were nervous he might say something about our living arrangement, but he didn't say anything. He filled out some forms with our personal information and then asked a series of questions such as are we related in any way, is anyone forcing us to get married, and does anyone in our families object our marriage. Some of them were really funny. But, we talked about a few minor details about the ceremony, but not much. We have to set up a series of other meetings to really get down to the nitty gritty. He gave us a book where we can select he readings and response song and the vows and what not. He also gave us "homework" and strongly encouraged us to write our wills, fill out the paperwork where you say what you want done to yourself if you can no longer make choices, and give one another power of attorney. He said that when we are married we will automatically have power of attorney, but he said he never know what can happen between now and the wedding date, and we should be prepared. I tried my best to take all of this seriously, but it was really scary. Then we signed some paperwork agreeing that we told the truth and we were on our way.
Target was amazing. I have waited to do this for longer than I have known Mike. I was always very jealous of the girls getting married who got to walk around the store with the big scanning gun. It was weird at times, because we didn't have the best game plan, so we were making choices on things like towels and what not trying to envision what we wanted out of our home. Because we weren't prepared, we didn't pick out an everyday use set of dishes or siverware. But, we had a blast. We were in there for about two hours, and it felt really weird leaving and all we bought were two Ginger Ales.
Signing up with Target:
First scan of the day, a pepper grinder:
Mike's first scan when I finally let him use it:
A job well done:
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The Wedding Planning Continues
Two days off school due to inclement weather? Yes, and thank you.
I finally paid for my wedding dress, and by I paid I clearly meant my mother paid for my wedding dress. It turned into a really stupid ordeal. LONG STORY short, My mom and I drove the hour + drive to Bowling Green for a fitting only to find out the sold the dress to someone else. We paid for it and left.
Mike and I had to re-do our honeymoon plans once again. His company wouldn't give him enough time off to go to Europe. So, after much convincing from Mike, we decided on Vegas. I didn't want to go there (it was Mike's first idea) because I didn't want to spend my entire honeymoon gambling, but we did some research and there is SO much to do there besides gambling. We have already paid for our first night there and reserved our room for the rest of the week so this is set in stone. Very soon we are going to buy tickets to The Beatles Love and Criss Angel's show (yeah, I said it.). Among other things we are going to see Second City, go to a Titanic exhibit, Price is Right show, get couples massages, eat a $75 champagne brunch at the best rated brunch in the city (which is also in our hotel), and eat at Bobby Flay's restaurant. I am very excited.
This weekend Mike and I are finally having our first meeting with our priest. We have to take a test to see if we are compatible for marriage. Mike and I are both nervous about this. He asked me what we will do if we fail, and I told him we will still get married, just outside of the church. I don't want a test to tell me if we are right for each other, I already know we are.
I am also a little nervous, because Mike's sister-in-law told him she has some friends who got married in a Catholic church. The priest found out they lived together and would only agree to marry them if one of them moved out until the wedding. Granted, Mike and I technically only live together 4 days out of a month, but I would HATE not being together. We agreed if it came down to it, I could ask my parents if I could sleep at their house on the weekends that he is home. It just makes the most sense. Mike doesn't have family in Clarksville, and he lives in a truck the majority of the time so he deserves to sleep in his own home. It would just suck, though.
After that we are going to go to Target to register for gifts. I have been looking forward to this since before I had ever even met Mike. I just want to walk around with this price gun SO BAD.
Then, we are going to Sam's Club to start buying a few things, mostly items for the buffet line like chafing dishes and servingware.
"It's all happening!"
I finally paid for my wedding dress, and by I paid I clearly meant my mother paid for my wedding dress. It turned into a really stupid ordeal. LONG STORY short, My mom and I drove the hour + drive to Bowling Green for a fitting only to find out the sold the dress to someone else. We paid for it and left.
Mike and I had to re-do our honeymoon plans once again. His company wouldn't give him enough time off to go to Europe. So, after much convincing from Mike, we decided on Vegas. I didn't want to go there (it was Mike's first idea) because I didn't want to spend my entire honeymoon gambling, but we did some research and there is SO much to do there besides gambling. We have already paid for our first night there and reserved our room for the rest of the week so this is set in stone. Very soon we are going to buy tickets to The Beatles Love and Criss Angel's show (yeah, I said it.). Among other things we are going to see Second City, go to a Titanic exhibit, Price is Right show, get couples massages, eat a $75 champagne brunch at the best rated brunch in the city (which is also in our hotel), and eat at Bobby Flay's restaurant. I am very excited.
This weekend Mike and I are finally having our first meeting with our priest. We have to take a test to see if we are compatible for marriage. Mike and I are both nervous about this. He asked me what we will do if we fail, and I told him we will still get married, just outside of the church. I don't want a test to tell me if we are right for each other, I already know we are.
I am also a little nervous, because Mike's sister-in-law told him she has some friends who got married in a Catholic church. The priest found out they lived together and would only agree to marry them if one of them moved out until the wedding. Granted, Mike and I technically only live together 4 days out of a month, but I would HATE not being together. We agreed if it came down to it, I could ask my parents if I could sleep at their house on the weekends that he is home. It just makes the most sense. Mike doesn't have family in Clarksville, and he lives in a truck the majority of the time so he deserves to sleep in his own home. It would just suck, though.
After that we are going to go to Target to register for gifts. I have been looking forward to this since before I had ever even met Mike. I just want to walk around with this price gun SO BAD.
Then, we are going to Sam's Club to start buying a few things, mostly items for the buffet line like chafing dishes and servingware.
"It's all happening!"
Monday, January 19, 2009
The Weekend Wrap Up
Excitement is buzzing around the Shoulders/McFadden household.
Mike came home this weekend after a two-week excursion on the road. After a Friday night playing games with Jef, we woke up early on Saturday to get ready to meet a potential photographer at our house. My mom came over to help us. I wanted to have someone who is married and someone with a better understanding of money to be there to make sure we were getting a fair deal. When he showed up we looked in his portfolio.
I was nervous because I have a fairly specific idea of what kind of photos I want which at times can be a bit artistic and I wasn't sure if this gentleman would be able to mesh with my aesthetic. I was also nervous that as a man who takes pictures for our church that he might not be creative at all.
Thankfully, I was proved wrong and his pictures were beautiful and after talking to him about my specific wants and needs I am sure I will get the pictures I want.
He explained that he takes unlimited photos and will work the ceremony and the entire reception and afterward give US a photo album and a cd with all of the photos. With that we will get the copyright release to print our photos whenever we want.
I saw a similar deal for a photographer out of Nashville and he charged the cheapest I have found at $1,000. I kind of expected to pay around the same price, but hoped that since he wasn't a photographer full time that he might NOT charge as much.
I have heard that it is improper to discuss finances with mixed company, and while I usually like to stick to the confined rules of social mores, I feel that in this situation there might be an exception.
After looking at his information he asked if Mike and I were still interested and we both gave an enthusiastic "Yes!" To which I soon asked how much he would be charging us.
He started off by saying, "I was thinking about 350...." and I waited for "350 an hour....350 for this...or 350 for that...."
but he said "I was thinking about 350....for the whole thing."
I am thrilled. I thought I was going to spend a thousand for a photographer and a thousand for my dress, but I am spending about one thousand for both. YAY!
After he left, Mike and I got ready to go to church for Saturday night services. We walked around the church grounds afterward discussing possible photos. It was freezing cold and Mike was very excited and walking all over the place having my picture possible scenerios. It was hard to get excited when my ears were burning off from the cold.
The rest of the night was pretty lazy, but we watched a bunch of recorded TV shows that we watch together from the past two weeks and made homemade pasta noodles for dinner.
On Sunday we woke up fairly early to drive down to Ashland City. Mike's mother just got married and is moving in with her husband. She had several pieces of furnitures and other things to give to us. Mike's friend Jamie met us down there with his truck to move stuff and help Mike lift. Once back at the house, he also heped Mike move our old couch into the car port.
Overall, we got a new couch and arm chair, Mike's gun rack from high school, an endtable that matches one Mike's mom gave us a long time ago, a serving dish, decorations for the gun rack (antlers and a mallard duck- yeah...I just said that), and some paintings done by Mike's grandmother.
As soon as we got home, Mike had to leave to deliver outside of Nashville. He just needed to deliver and come right back home. While he was out, I got our house back together and rearranged some things on the wall. I also got out a curtain that we have never used before and cut it because it was too long and hung it up in our bedroom inplace of a blanket that has been hanging there since we moved in. Our house almost looks completely different now. We have lived here for almost two years and our bedroom has always looked plain, but it looks so good now. I love our living room furniture and all the paintings really make it look so much better.
Jackson and Jef (Jaxonn and Jeph) came over last night for games and such. We played a new dice version of Clue, a trivia Wii game, an arcade Wii game, darts, and a dice Cranium game. Good times, good friends, razzleberry pie.
Mike left this morning and the routine goes back to normal.
I started school last Thursday. Thankfully I know some people in my classes, but everything is so different. After two years in the English department, I am just now realizing how comfortable I got. I knew all the professor's names, the building, what to expect in the classes.
Now, I don't know anything. I am excited, though, because these are the classes that matter the most. I am finally going to learn how to be a teacher. I am really excited for a good semester.
Mike came home this weekend after a two-week excursion on the road. After a Friday night playing games with Jef, we woke up early on Saturday to get ready to meet a potential photographer at our house. My mom came over to help us. I wanted to have someone who is married and someone with a better understanding of money to be there to make sure we were getting a fair deal. When he showed up we looked in his portfolio.
I was nervous because I have a fairly specific idea of what kind of photos I want which at times can be a bit artistic and I wasn't sure if this gentleman would be able to mesh with my aesthetic. I was also nervous that as a man who takes pictures for our church that he might not be creative at all.
Thankfully, I was proved wrong and his pictures were beautiful and after talking to him about my specific wants and needs I am sure I will get the pictures I want.
He explained that he takes unlimited photos and will work the ceremony and the entire reception and afterward give US a photo album and a cd with all of the photos. With that we will get the copyright release to print our photos whenever we want.
I saw a similar deal for a photographer out of Nashville and he charged the cheapest I have found at $1,000. I kind of expected to pay around the same price, but hoped that since he wasn't a photographer full time that he might NOT charge as much.
I have heard that it is improper to discuss finances with mixed company, and while I usually like to stick to the confined rules of social mores, I feel that in this situation there might be an exception.
After looking at his information he asked if Mike and I were still interested and we both gave an enthusiastic "Yes!" To which I soon asked how much he would be charging us.
He started off by saying, "I was thinking about 350...." and I waited for "350 an hour....350 for this...or 350 for that...."
but he said "I was thinking about 350....for the whole thing."
I am thrilled. I thought I was going to spend a thousand for a photographer and a thousand for my dress, but I am spending about one thousand for both. YAY!
After he left, Mike and I got ready to go to church for Saturday night services. We walked around the church grounds afterward discussing possible photos. It was freezing cold and Mike was very excited and walking all over the place having my picture possible scenerios. It was hard to get excited when my ears were burning off from the cold.
The rest of the night was pretty lazy, but we watched a bunch of recorded TV shows that we watch together from the past two weeks and made homemade pasta noodles for dinner.
On Sunday we woke up fairly early to drive down to Ashland City. Mike's mother just got married and is moving in with her husband. She had several pieces of furnitures and other things to give to us. Mike's friend Jamie met us down there with his truck to move stuff and help Mike lift. Once back at the house, he also heped Mike move our old couch into the car port.
Overall, we got a new couch and arm chair, Mike's gun rack from high school, an endtable that matches one Mike's mom gave us a long time ago, a serving dish, decorations for the gun rack (antlers and a mallard duck- yeah...I just said that), and some paintings done by Mike's grandmother.
As soon as we got home, Mike had to leave to deliver outside of Nashville. He just needed to deliver and come right back home. While he was out, I got our house back together and rearranged some things on the wall. I also got out a curtain that we have never used before and cut it because it was too long and hung it up in our bedroom inplace of a blanket that has been hanging there since we moved in. Our house almost looks completely different now. We have lived here for almost two years and our bedroom has always looked plain, but it looks so good now. I love our living room furniture and all the paintings really make it look so much better.
Jackson and Jef (Jaxonn and Jeph) came over last night for games and such. We played a new dice version of Clue, a trivia Wii game, an arcade Wii game, darts, and a dice Cranium game. Good times, good friends, razzleberry pie.
Mike left this morning and the routine goes back to normal.
I started school last Thursday. Thankfully I know some people in my classes, but everything is so different. After two years in the English department, I am just now realizing how comfortable I got. I knew all the professor's names, the building, what to expect in the classes.
Now, I don't know anything. I am excited, though, because these are the classes that matter the most. I am finally going to learn how to be a teacher. I am really excited for a good semester.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
The Emotional Homecoming
Let's take a journey...shall we??
Me, Jef, and Jackson went to Bowling Green to meet Nik to try on dresses today.
I have been dreading it. Would any of the dresses fit me? Would they look ok? Would I like the styles? I planned on liking nothing. I planned for the worst. I tried to even avoid thinking about what I was doing, because I just didn't want to get my hopes up.
We got there and the place was PACKED. This made me more nervous. I was going to have to go through this emotional rollercoaster in front of an audience. We had to wait almost an hour before I could be given a dressing room. In the mean time we sought out the dress pool. I saw several I liked and several I didn't....but I still wasn't ready to get excited.
I didn't exactly know between two sizes what would fit, so Nik suggested that I try on a dress I absolutely did not like to feel out the size. She said that if I tried on a dress I loved and it didn't fit I might be disappointed. This made clear sense to me. As soon as we got over to the dresses I spotted this dress with awful red beading on it. That would be my tester.
They finally called me back to the dressing room and the games began.
I didn't realise that they would give me undergarments for trying on the dress. The lady helping us immediately asked me for my bra size. I got really defensive wondering why in the heck she would need to know that until she explained.
So she got my this like strapless bra thing that like covers your stomache and Nik and I enter the dressingroom to make sure it and the slip fits. My luck. The bra didn't. I secretly started panicing. I hadn't even gotten a dress on my body and already something didn't fit. But, I kept things to myself, because the moment I started to worry outloud, the moment my friends would try to cheer me up which would for reasons I can't explain annoy me.
Thankfully, they found the right size and it was time to start trying on. Nik helped me into the tester dress and we're pulling it down and getting it in place and Nik steps back and says "oh my god you look like a woman." I start getting mad at her in my head assuming shes trying to make me feel good when I clearly look silly.
We step out of the dressing room (cause you know they dont put mirrors in there so you can look stupid infront of everyone) and I see myself in the mirror. I was shocked. It looked good. I wasn't pleased with how much of my shoulders it showed, but our assistant got a viel that covered everything up. Then, I was pleased.
It wasn't at all what I was looking for, but it showed me that this could turn out better than I thought.
Then I tried on this:
I thought it was so much better than the one before and could even be a possibility for the wedding. The experience was starting to get a lot more fun.
So then I tried on:
I instantly fell in love with is. The color wasn't right. I would get it in all white and a green sash. It was so far my favorite. I loved how each dress just got better and better. I was having so much fun, and really almost considered throwing in the towel. I *thought* this could be the one I was married in.
I had two more dresses to try on. Nik and I go back into the dressing room and begin with the next one. Nik is looking at it and saying it looked too plain before I had a chance to see anything. As soon as I was out of the dressing room our assistant and Nik start getting a clover green (color of the bridesmaid dresses) sash and add to the dress I am wearing.
I remember the moment as if it were in slow motion. I twirled around to get a good look in the mirror. I felt magic strike between me and my own image. I was staring at my own personal Cinderella dress. I heard Nik say "well that changes everything." Jackson was literally tearing up and Jef had a proud smile on his strong face. I had not only found a beautiful wedding dress, I found "the one"
What I had envisioned being an unpleasant experience turn into a really fun afternoon. And not only did I pull the bandaid and just do it, but I found what I wanted in one try. Now, I can move on to the other tasks I need to get this pulled together. Being in that dress made the wedding real for the first time.
And the greatest part of all is that my cousin Erin's daughter Madison is my flower girl and she tried on this little number, which matches me perfectly:
OH! the life of a bride to be!!!
Me, Jef, and Jackson went to Bowling Green to meet Nik to try on dresses today.
I have been dreading it. Would any of the dresses fit me? Would they look ok? Would I like the styles? I planned on liking nothing. I planned for the worst. I tried to even avoid thinking about what I was doing, because I just didn't want to get my hopes up.
We got there and the place was PACKED. This made me more nervous. I was going to have to go through this emotional rollercoaster in front of an audience. We had to wait almost an hour before I could be given a dressing room. In the mean time we sought out the dress pool. I saw several I liked and several I didn't....but I still wasn't ready to get excited.
I didn't exactly know between two sizes what would fit, so Nik suggested that I try on a dress I absolutely did not like to feel out the size. She said that if I tried on a dress I loved and it didn't fit I might be disappointed. This made clear sense to me. As soon as we got over to the dresses I spotted this dress with awful red beading on it. That would be my tester.
They finally called me back to the dressing room and the games began.
I didn't realise that they would give me undergarments for trying on the dress. The lady helping us immediately asked me for my bra size. I got really defensive wondering why in the heck she would need to know that until she explained.
So she got my this like strapless bra thing that like covers your stomache and Nik and I enter the dressingroom to make sure it and the slip fits. My luck. The bra didn't. I secretly started panicing. I hadn't even gotten a dress on my body and already something didn't fit. But, I kept things to myself, because the moment I started to worry outloud, the moment my friends would try to cheer me up which would for reasons I can't explain annoy me.
Thankfully, they found the right size and it was time to start trying on. Nik helped me into the tester dress and we're pulling it down and getting it in place and Nik steps back and says "oh my god you look like a woman." I start getting mad at her in my head assuming shes trying to make me feel good when I clearly look silly.
We step out of the dressing room (cause you know they dont put mirrors in there so you can look stupid infront of everyone) and I see myself in the mirror. I was shocked. It looked good. I wasn't pleased with how much of my shoulders it showed, but our assistant got a viel that covered everything up. Then, I was pleased.
It wasn't at all what I was looking for, but it showed me that this could turn out better than I thought.
Then I tried on this:
I thought it was so much better than the one before and could even be a possibility for the wedding. The experience was starting to get a lot more fun.
So then I tried on:
I instantly fell in love with is. The color wasn't right. I would get it in all white and a green sash. It was so far my favorite. I loved how each dress just got better and better. I was having so much fun, and really almost considered throwing in the towel. I *thought* this could be the one I was married in.
I had two more dresses to try on. Nik and I go back into the dressing room and begin with the next one. Nik is looking at it and saying it looked too plain before I had a chance to see anything. As soon as I was out of the dressing room our assistant and Nik start getting a clover green (color of the bridesmaid dresses) sash and add to the dress I am wearing.
I remember the moment as if it were in slow motion. I twirled around to get a good look in the mirror. I felt magic strike between me and my own image. I was staring at my own personal Cinderella dress. I heard Nik say "well that changes everything." Jackson was literally tearing up and Jef had a proud smile on his strong face. I had not only found a beautiful wedding dress, I found "the one"
What I had envisioned being an unpleasant experience turn into a really fun afternoon. And not only did I pull the bandaid and just do it, but I found what I wanted in one try. Now, I can move on to the other tasks I need to get this pulled together. Being in that dress made the wedding real for the first time.
And the greatest part of all is that my cousin Erin's daughter Madison is my flower girl and she tried on this little number, which matches me perfectly:
OH! the life of a bride to be!!!
The Finished at the Starting Line
I finished reading Breaking Dawn. I laughed. I cried. Victory is mine.
I am trying on wedding dresses in less than 12 hours.
I am trying on wedding dresses in less than 12 hours.
Friday, January 9, 2009
The Validation
I set a date to meet with a photographer on Saturday the 17th...YAY real progress.
I am getting really frustrated with a professor at APSU. I was late to register and couldn't get into a linguistics class I need. My schedule is really tight between now and graduating. If I don't take exactly six classes this semester I won't graduate on time. I emailed the professor asking if I could get an override into her class and she said she would get back to me. She hasn't. I checked online to see if anyone had dropped. The class tops at 24 students and there are 30 registered. Which means she let 6 people in and not me. I emailed her again and still nothing. I tried to see if there was anything I am planning on taking in the fall available, but no. I am freaking out. I don't need this to get messed up. I WILL graduate on time. I just have to find a way to get this straight. I am hoping that MAYBE enough people in that class haven't validated and their classes will get dropped by a certain date if they don't. If I am magically lucky enough for this to happen, I can get in...but that's a lot to hope for.
We'll see....
ugh
I am getting really frustrated with a professor at APSU. I was late to register and couldn't get into a linguistics class I need. My schedule is really tight between now and graduating. If I don't take exactly six classes this semester I won't graduate on time. I emailed the professor asking if I could get an override into her class and she said she would get back to me. She hasn't. I checked online to see if anyone had dropped. The class tops at 24 students and there are 30 registered. Which means she let 6 people in and not me. I emailed her again and still nothing. I tried to see if there was anything I am planning on taking in the fall available, but no. I am freaking out. I don't need this to get messed up. I WILL graduate on time. I just have to find a way to get this straight. I am hoping that MAYBE enough people in that class haven't validated and their classes will get dropped by a certain date if they don't. If I am magically lucky enough for this to happen, I can get in...but that's a lot to hope for.
We'll see....
ugh
Thursday, January 8, 2009
The Home The Improvement
Wedding plans are underway. I haven't gotten anything officially finished, but I have started on tons. I'm nervous some tiny detail will get lost in the shuffle, so I keep making notes. Kashmir tried on the dress today and sent me a photo. I would post it, but I don't know if she would appreciate that or not, but she looks fabulous. I am going to try on dresses this Saturday and I have a wave of emotions. I am excited because it is a pretty big step in the process, but scared of finding the right one and looking nice in it.
My house is still trying to recover from Christmas. Between Mike being home, unloading presents, putting away decorations, and a pretty big spell of laziness my house looks horrendous. I have done a little each day trying to recoup, but I have also been inspire to do some off season "Spring" cleaning. With cleaning out cabinets and such comes even more disorder. I will hopefully finish it all this weekend.
With the onslaught of gift cards from Christmas (and some from way before then) I bought some much needed items for the house, including a very nice set of dishes for company. Mike cleaned out the hutch in our dining room and decoratively displayed them. I am a nerd, but it is things like this that make me feel grown. I also got a shipment of clothes from Old Navy (yay new wardrobe!!) and a television stand from Target for the bedroom.
For Christmas my brother Jason got my parents a new flatscreen tv for their bedroom, so I asked if I could have the old one. It is 36 inchs and humongous. I had planed on putting the monster in the livingroom, until my birthday rolled around and Jason got me a 32in HD flat screen. The flat screen went into the living room leaving the monster to go into the bedroom. We gave the tv from our bedroom to Mike's sister, but we have the original living room tv sitting on the floor in the office. I want to hold on to it, because you never know when you might need an extra tv and it is really nice. I guess eventually I will set it up in the office, but it feels wasted because that room is a bit of a sham.
You see, it is probably one of my favorite rooms in the house. It has the most character anyway, with all of our "fun" stuff including a gigantic bud light shamrock, inflatibles, fun paintings, and road signs. We have a nice loveseat in there, a desk, and all of my books. But we never use it. I don't even do homework in there. I should, but the lightening is bad. The room gets the most use out of it by Mable, whose litter box is in there. Oh, and Mr. Tankles- Mike's friend Jamie's bull mastif when they come to visit.
SO, what I'm trying to say here is- maybe one day when we move and have maybe a guest room or a big kitchen the tv can find an appropriate home.
AND, we needed to buy the above mentioned tv stand from Target for the monster to go into the bedroom. We were going to try to put it on the dresser where the original was, but we both feared it MIGHT not be stable enough to support the tv, AND we were further pursuaded to get a tv stand when Mike and I together were not able to lift the tv high enough to be put on said dresser.
It was an ordeal
to say the least.
BUT, after shifting our bedroom around a bit (moving the dresser next to Mike's side of the bed) I shifted my living around a tad. I have two bookcases in the living room holding DVDS and I used to have one next to the tv and one on the adjacent wall. When I put out the Christmas tree, I moved the bookshelf next to the tv over by it's pair. I liked this arrangement, but after the tree came down I was left with a bare corner. After we put the dresser next to Mike's bed, I had no where to put his night stand. Since his night stand was originally an endtable- bam-a-lam- I had something to put in that bare corner- so now the couch has an endtable on the other side. It looks homeier in here now. ALSO I moved to the recorder player and stand next to the new endtable and put my new trunk (a Christmas gift from Mike's sister to me. I saw some trunks at an auction we went to together and I tried bidding on it. When the bid reached up to $100 Mike's sister LITERALLY forced my hand down and told me I was crazy to pay that much for it so she got me another truck she found at another auction) in it's place and it is displaying a bunch of my favorite things like my yearbooks, some photo albums, and my favorite books.
THEN, I found out yesterday that Mike's mom is giving us one of her old couches and arm chairs. Our couch has recently broken in two spots and neither one of us was too excited to buy a new one, so this worked out perfectly.
I have to say- unless you have previously been into my home AND care about this kind of stuff, that was probably REALLY REALLY boring to read through.
My bad.
I am pretty freaking excited about life right now, because everything just really rules. Mike rules. My family rules. School starting soon rules. New clothes rule. New presents from Christmas rules. New video games I got rule. Wedding planning rules. And reading Breaking Dawn (which I am almost halfway through) rules. And I am apparently 16 again.
25 and 2009 are going great. This is going to be the best year ever.
OH MAN! I forgot to mention- that after much discussion and advice- mike and i have changed our honeymoon plans. Yeah, that's right. We are going to Europe. Suck on that.
My house is still trying to recover from Christmas. Between Mike being home, unloading presents, putting away decorations, and a pretty big spell of laziness my house looks horrendous. I have done a little each day trying to recoup, but I have also been inspire to do some off season "Spring" cleaning. With cleaning out cabinets and such comes even more disorder. I will hopefully finish it all this weekend.
With the onslaught of gift cards from Christmas (and some from way before then) I bought some much needed items for the house, including a very nice set of dishes for company. Mike cleaned out the hutch in our dining room and decoratively displayed them. I am a nerd, but it is things like this that make me feel grown. I also got a shipment of clothes from Old Navy (yay new wardrobe!!) and a television stand from Target for the bedroom.
For Christmas my brother Jason got my parents a new flatscreen tv for their bedroom, so I asked if I could have the old one. It is 36 inchs and humongous. I had planed on putting the monster in the livingroom, until my birthday rolled around and Jason got me a 32in HD flat screen. The flat screen went into the living room leaving the monster to go into the bedroom. We gave the tv from our bedroom to Mike's sister, but we have the original living room tv sitting on the floor in the office. I want to hold on to it, because you never know when you might need an extra tv and it is really nice. I guess eventually I will set it up in the office, but it feels wasted because that room is a bit of a sham.
You see, it is probably one of my favorite rooms in the house. It has the most character anyway, with all of our "fun" stuff including a gigantic bud light shamrock, inflatibles, fun paintings, and road signs. We have a nice loveseat in there, a desk, and all of my books. But we never use it. I don't even do homework in there. I should, but the lightening is bad. The room gets the most use out of it by Mable, whose litter box is in there. Oh, and Mr. Tankles- Mike's friend Jamie's bull mastif when they come to visit.
SO, what I'm trying to say here is- maybe one day when we move and have maybe a guest room or a big kitchen the tv can find an appropriate home.
AND, we needed to buy the above mentioned tv stand from Target for the monster to go into the bedroom. We were going to try to put it on the dresser where the original was, but we both feared it MIGHT not be stable enough to support the tv, AND we were further pursuaded to get a tv stand when Mike and I together were not able to lift the tv high enough to be put on said dresser.
It was an ordeal
to say the least.
BUT, after shifting our bedroom around a bit (moving the dresser next to Mike's side of the bed) I shifted my living around a tad. I have two bookcases in the living room holding DVDS and I used to have one next to the tv and one on the adjacent wall. When I put out the Christmas tree, I moved the bookshelf next to the tv over by it's pair. I liked this arrangement, but after the tree came down I was left with a bare corner. After we put the dresser next to Mike's bed, I had no where to put his night stand. Since his night stand was originally an endtable- bam-a-lam- I had something to put in that bare corner- so now the couch has an endtable on the other side. It looks homeier in here now. ALSO I moved to the recorder player and stand next to the new endtable and put my new trunk (a Christmas gift from Mike's sister to me. I saw some trunks at an auction we went to together and I tried bidding on it. When the bid reached up to $100 Mike's sister LITERALLY forced my hand down and told me I was crazy to pay that much for it so she got me another truck she found at another auction) in it's place and it is displaying a bunch of my favorite things like my yearbooks, some photo albums, and my favorite books.
THEN, I found out yesterday that Mike's mom is giving us one of her old couches and arm chairs. Our couch has recently broken in two spots and neither one of us was too excited to buy a new one, so this worked out perfectly.
I have to say- unless you have previously been into my home AND care about this kind of stuff, that was probably REALLY REALLY boring to read through.
My bad.
I am pretty freaking excited about life right now, because everything just really rules. Mike rules. My family rules. School starting soon rules. New clothes rule. New presents from Christmas rules. New video games I got rule. Wedding planning rules. And reading Breaking Dawn (which I am almost halfway through) rules. And I am apparently 16 again.
25 and 2009 are going great. This is going to be the best year ever.
OH MAN! I forgot to mention- that after much discussion and advice- mike and i have changed our honeymoon plans. Yeah, that's right. We are going to Europe. Suck on that.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
The Projection
Hey 2009.
I have mixed feelings about resolutions because I have never kept one in the past- even simple small resolutions...like one year I wanted to watch all the movies that had won best picture at the Oscars. I didn't even watch ONE.
That being said, I would like to try to set a few goals for the year.
1. I want to accomplish everything for my wedding in an efficient time line. I don't want to put anything off until last minute and I want to be organized. I don't handle stress very well and neither does Mike. I don't want laziness and procrastination to lead us into an argument, especially when we are working toward this kind of goal. I want to get the ball rolling this week and keep it going.
2. I want to continue doing well in school and even better. I would love to see a 4.0 semester GPA at least once before I graduate. I want to continue to learn responsible study habits and try to go to class every day. I also want to be organized and try my hardest to get work down early so that I don't get stressed out. I also want to continue to study up on the English side of my degree on my own. I only have one English class left, and I don't want to get out of the habit of seeking out literature knowledge. I have to be well versed in that aspect in order to teach it.
3. In relation to the above mentioned, I want to read more. I haven't had the desire to read for pleasure after reading so much for school. Because I am not taking any literature classes this semester I should have no excuses for not reading. I not only want to read the books I have been saving for myself, I also want to read more of the classic and books that I might be tested over for my Praxis exam.
4. I want to make a better effort to be kinder to people and less selfish. I also want to make a better effort to make more time for Mike, my family, and friends.
5. I want a better handle on what is going on in my life. I want to stop buying birthday presents on the day of that person's birthday. I want to be on time more. I want to keep my house cleaner. I want to go to bed at a better time. I want my life to run like a well oiled machine.
6. I want to enjoy living a healthy life and adopt healthier practices. I want to want to exercise. I want to eat better.
7. I want to make a better effort to go to church regularly. I am typing this at 4am on Sunday morning. I will not go to church today, but I want this to be the last time.
8. I want to seek out and find new music. I am stuck in a box of the same kind of music I listen to. I want to branch out to new bands, new genres.
9. I want to learn from any mistake or hardship I might face in 2009.
10. I want to conquer my fears in 2009. I want to get over being scared of large crowds. I want to start looking strangers in the eye when I speak to them. In a strange related way I want to be a better communicator. I want to have confidence.
I would like to say in 2010 that I did something I have mentioned.
I am constantly on a life journey. Not only do I want to win, I really just want to cross the finish line.
I have mixed feelings about resolutions because I have never kept one in the past- even simple small resolutions...like one year I wanted to watch all the movies that had won best picture at the Oscars. I didn't even watch ONE.
That being said, I would like to try to set a few goals for the year.
1. I want to accomplish everything for my wedding in an efficient time line. I don't want to put anything off until last minute and I want to be organized. I don't handle stress very well and neither does Mike. I don't want laziness and procrastination to lead us into an argument, especially when we are working toward this kind of goal. I want to get the ball rolling this week and keep it going.
2. I want to continue doing well in school and even better. I would love to see a 4.0 semester GPA at least once before I graduate. I want to continue to learn responsible study habits and try to go to class every day. I also want to be organized and try my hardest to get work down early so that I don't get stressed out. I also want to continue to study up on the English side of my degree on my own. I only have one English class left, and I don't want to get out of the habit of seeking out literature knowledge. I have to be well versed in that aspect in order to teach it.
3. In relation to the above mentioned, I want to read more. I haven't had the desire to read for pleasure after reading so much for school. Because I am not taking any literature classes this semester I should have no excuses for not reading. I not only want to read the books I have been saving for myself, I also want to read more of the classic and books that I might be tested over for my Praxis exam.
4. I want to make a better effort to be kinder to people and less selfish. I also want to make a better effort to make more time for Mike, my family, and friends.
5. I want a better handle on what is going on in my life. I want to stop buying birthday presents on the day of that person's birthday. I want to be on time more. I want to keep my house cleaner. I want to go to bed at a better time. I want my life to run like a well oiled machine.
6. I want to enjoy living a healthy life and adopt healthier practices. I want to want to exercise. I want to eat better.
7. I want to make a better effort to go to church regularly. I am typing this at 4am on Sunday morning. I will not go to church today, but I want this to be the last time.
8. I want to seek out and find new music. I am stuck in a box of the same kind of music I listen to. I want to branch out to new bands, new genres.
9. I want to learn from any mistake or hardship I might face in 2009.
10. I want to conquer my fears in 2009. I want to get over being scared of large crowds. I want to start looking strangers in the eye when I speak to them. In a strange related way I want to be a better communicator. I want to have confidence.
I would like to say in 2010 that I did something I have mentioned.
I am constantly on a life journey. Not only do I want to win, I really just want to cross the finish line.
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