Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Thankful

Mike didn't make it home for Thanksgiving. This was the first holiday we have spent apart from each other. I got a text message from him yesterday while at school telling me we needed to talk. When I called him back he asked me if I was done for the day or if I had another class. I told him I had one more class, and he said to just call him back when I got out. I told him to just tell me what he wanted to say, and he dropped the bombshell. So, I'm crying in the stairwell in Harned Hall. I then call my mom and let her know that my plans for during the day have freed, and I have to go into class. And, I was doing a really bad job of trying to cover my emotions and as SOON as someone asked me what was wrong I turned into a waterfall.

I hate....HATE...absolutely HATE crying in front of strangers. It was so awkward.

But, it just sucked. Mike has been gone for 27 days. I miss him terribly. He is supposed to be home early tomorrow morning, and then our plans go back to normal. It can't get here soon enough.

I am thankful for still being alive.

I am NOT thankful for broken promises, missing people you love, end of the school year, bogged down and stressed out situations, an being sleepy.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Stressing

I'm pretty sure I should be crying. But, I think I am so stressed that I am shutting off the parts of my mind that are scared to deal with it, and instead I am in survivor mode.

I thought I had five papers to write, but found out I have six. I didn't know I a research paper for my art class to do. I am completely done with two of them. I am almost done with the rough draft for a third. I could possibly get away with saving one of them for Sunday night, one Monday, and the last one on Tuesday. We'll see how tomorrow goes. I have so many other things besides papers to do as well. I hope I get the most I can done tomorrow.

I am so tired. I am going to finish this rough draft and go to bed.

I usually always shower at night because I never wake up in time to take one in the morning, but for some freak reason, I have been waking up earlier than ever, so I know I'll have time tomorrow.

Mike was supposed to get home tomorrow night. Instead he won't be home until Thanksgiving day. And to boot, after he found that out, he ran into a situation that is going to make him even later on that day then he thought. So, he spends an entire month out to be home for Thanksgiving, but will only get to celebrate it for a half a day. This isn't at all what we expected.

I went to get him his ornament yesterday. Last year, Walmart had a really nice selection of all kinds of stuff. Well, the things I saw yesterday were pathetic. I ended up getting him a fish, because he likes fishing. I wanted something a little more special, but that will have to do. I also got him a gag ornament. Mike is into nascar racing. His favorite driver isn't one that is usually marketed in promotional items. But, I did find one of a driver he doesn't really like.

Is it Christmas, yet?

Saturday, November 22, 2008

The Sensation

Oh Lawd!

So, I got my sleep schedule back on track and over corrected it. I have been getting up earlier than I ever have. Unfortunately, going to see Twilight at Midnight two nights ago kinda messed that up. Yesterday I went to take a nap to recover at around 4:30. I told Mike to wake me up in an hour, but he called at 7:30. I was a mean ole grump to him and he told me to sleep through the night. I barely remember this taking place. I just woke up at 5:00am. This stuff is nuts. The bad part is I told Jef I would hang out with him last night and never got back to him. I am a jerk.

In retrospect, I guess this works out alright. I have been working on homework like a mad woman this entire week to prepare for this weekend. Because Mike is coming home for four days and I have several papers due the day we get back from break, I have to do ALL of them this weekend. Yeah, five papers. So, I have spent an hour drinking coffee and interneting, but after I write this I will get started. It would be nice to make such a significant dent that I could take a break tonight and chill.

So, yeah I Twilight is finally here. Charlsie, Jackson, Jef and I went to see it at the midnight showing. We got coffee together before mostly to get the caffeine to stay alert. We didn't leave for the theater until 11:30 because we already had tickets. I had been texting Kashmir all day long and she told me at like 10:15 that she was already at her theater in Springfield. I thought she was entirely too early. So, we get there and the line isn't very long for seating and moving quickly and the whole time I was wondering why it wasn't such a big deal here. Well, as soon as we entered the actual theater I found out I was wrong.

It was packed.

We wanted to find four seats together, but this was almost impossible. We had to settle for four seats together on the VERY first row. I was so mad. SOOO MAD. Why didn't I just decided to get there like an hour earlier?? Instead, we had to sit in seats that hurt your neck. The screen is GIGANTIC and we are looking at it as if it is over our heads. Your head has to move and follow words as they extend over the screen. It was awful. But, I told myself "hey, atleast we're here and atleast we get to sit together- make the most of it!"

So, the lights dim and the crowd is going nuts as the previews come on. This kid comes up to us and kneels down and asks us if we like our seats. Of course we say no, and he tells us there are more seats available in another screen. My first thought it OMG YES!!! then my second thought is "what if this guy doesn't really work here and is tricking us for our seats?" So I ask him if he works there and he laughs and tells us he is a manager and just isn't in uniform. I decided to quasi-trust him and we walk out. As soon as I see someone in legit uniform I confirmed with them and he was telling the truth.

We got into the other theater and as we rounded the corner there was hardly anyone in there. It was so exciting- like we had conquered something.

I don't recommend that everyone go see this movie. I don't know what it is like to watch it from the perspective of someone who has never read the books. But, as a fan who loves the books so dearly as if they were my own children, this was the best movie I have ever seen. The best part of watching it was seeing these characters that I have fallen in love with come to life. Charlsie and I couldn't stop laughing through the whole things just because you got to see these places, ideas, people, jokes and you remembered reading about them. It was the best experience I have ever had watching a movie (save for the jerks behind us that kept talking).

Mike comes home in four more days!!!!

Monday, November 17, 2008

The weak and the weary

My sleep schedule keeps wavering and nothing I do seems to get it back on track. It happened Wednesday night. I met Jackson for coffee after midnight. Fueled by too much coffee, I was unable to sleep and stayed up late doing homework. The next day I didn't wake up until 6:30 in the evening. To try to fix this I stayed up all night and went to school on no sleep on Friday. My plan was to stay up until an appropriate bed time that night. Well, I ended up taking a nap in the middle of the day and staying up until 10am on Saturday. Then on Saturday I slept from 10am to 1pm and made a plan to go to sleep around 10 that night. Didn't get to sleep until 3am-ish and woke up this afternoon at 4:30.

YIKES...now it is almost 12:30- I have a bit of reading left to do before I can go to bed again. I just want to correct this. I feel like this week has gone by so fast at the wrong time.

However, through all of it: I did some exercising, got more homework done, spent quality time with Jackson and Jef, got a pumpkin spice latte, and watched 3 movies.

Definitely, Maybe was REALLY good. Must Love Dogs was very enjoyable. Made of Honor was ok.

I also made of list of everything I am getting Mike for Christmas and added the links to where to buy it, so I don't have to worry with all that anymore, just the actual buying. And, Mike and I made a list of everything to get his family....so just mine to go.

I need to go shopping and get mike some Christmas tree ornaments. I have a ton that I collected as a child and my mom still gives me new ones each year, but Mike never had any of his own. This will be our third Christmas living together and I have been trying to build up his collection since. I want to surprise him with some new ones when he gets home. Then, I need to make a list of everything we are going to need for our Thanksgiving/Christmas extravaganza.

I tried to register for next semester about 30 minutes ago (when it was finally available for me to do so) and it told me I have a damned hold on my account. I hope by the time I can take care of it, my classes will still be open.

Friday, November 14, 2008

The Menu

I'm pretty sure I have cabin fever.

Here are some fun pictures:







Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Bragging Rights

School is pretty awesome when you get a test and a paper back and make A's on both.

Sup? I'm braggin.

I am really proud of myself. For the longest time I went from thinking that I was never going to succeed in school, to thinking I got control over the situation but wouldn't be anything other than an average student, to discovering that I can be on the top. I think now that I found a comfort zone within my department, I found the confidence to excel.

I was telling someone earlier, that it sucks that it took me so long to feel like I belonged in the English department and get to know people, and now I only have one literature class left, so next semester I will deal with nothing but the Education department, where I know hardly anyone. But, I think I will have an easier transition now that I know how to do it. Isn't this sad? Why do I have to be so awkward!?!?!!?

I took a really painful nap on the couch this afternoon and woke up several times in pain because I was sleeping on the bar in the middle- but I was so tired that I couldn't wake up long enough to move.

I really wish I could write a long entry on all the exciting things happening in my life, but it's been pretty normal the past couple days. School, homework, sleep, excessive amounts of television.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Poetic Summary

read
all
day
long.


ate some olive garden.

read
some
more.

Zzzzzzzz's waiting.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The (crazy) Dog

I thought I was going to be killed by a dog tonight. At least seriously injured. I came home after grocery shopping and as I got out of the car I put my purse, a magazine, and a soda on the roof of my car to free my hands for bags. I like to see if i can get all the bags at one time, so I was piling them up my arms when I heard a dog barking...but it was off in the distance. I got all the bags and moved around the car to get the purse and things when I noticed the barking was coming closer and I saw a dog not on a leash coming near me.

Under normal circumstances I would have been cool and ignored it. But it was barking at me and it was a scary looking down like a pit or something. I froze. My mind was racing trying think of what to do. I remember asking myself "Ok, what have people taught me to do in this situation?" as if someone had taught me what to do in this situation. They hadn't. I had no idea what to do. I thought about attacking with my keys...yeah right..My plan finally agreed to attack with the grocery bags.

But, I just stood there waiting for the dog to do something other than bark at me. I finally moved to the side and noticed he moved from the opposite direction of me. I didn't feel as threatened by this, so I made my way slowly to the porch and he moved away from me the entire time.

I got inside and realized that I left my purse and stuff on the roof of my car. I looked outside and the pooch had started to cross the street. The coast seemed clear, but as I opened the door he heard me and came back just a-barking away. I stepped back inside because he came all the way to the bottom of the porch stairs.

I channeled my inner crazy lady and thought I should probably get a broom. So I walked out there with the broom shooing him away and safely got my belongings- but it was really scary.

I knew Zoe needed to use the bathroom, but I wouldn't let her out because of a potential dog fight, but even over an our later when I let Zoe outside I heard her barking at something- and she never does that so I quickly let her back in.

It was scary.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Homerun

This weekend was a homerun for relationships. My friend Jef FINALLY came home from a tour in Iraq for good after being gone for over a year. I love how with certain friends it feels like time never passed. It's like, when Kashmir came to Clarksville this past summer I hadn't seen her in over a year and it was just...normal. Today, Nik who I haven't seen since July came down from BG and we had dinner. Waited over two hours for pizza hut due to a delivery boy's first day but got the pizza for free so it was a win.

I really wish each of these entries weren't turning into a summary of my homework. But, I got a good amount accomplished this weekend. I got all of my Expository and Brit Lit assignments for this week done. I am hoping to finish the rest between now and Wednesday night and give myself a good long break.

I have let my kitchen get really bad. I need to do some serious cleaning in there tomorrow.

Yeah......my life is boring.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Big Girl

I am about to finally go to bed....yikes...it is five in the morning. Jackson and Stephen came over tonight and we watched A Perfect Storm. Depressing.

I am pretty sure I rocked my Brit Lit exam. And I think my paper for Expository is pretty good. I then went and cleaned my parent's house, stopped off at the bank, and FINALLY went to renew my vehicle registration.

I didn't do any homework tonight. I had to force myself not to. I know that I needed one break to make myself emotionally feel better. I average about six hours of homework and studying a day. It is so exhausting. I remember during my first year of college in this class called ACAD 1100 (which is the same as APSU 1000 or an intro into college course where they teach you how to be a college student) my professor told us something like you should study twice how many hours the class outside of class. A three hour class warrants six hours of study time a week or something of that nature. Well, I am taking 19 hours. I am doing that and more.

I will say though, that MOST of that study time is spent reading. But, understand reading for school is not the same as reading for pleasure. Half of the time I am reading material I have no interest in whatsoever. Then, I have to make sure I understand and pay attention to everything for possible quizzes, tests, and discussions. And, you must consider the stress of reading multiple stories for different classes. I get really confused sometimes and forget what happened in which one and for which class, so I have to keep all of that straight and it is time consuming to boot.I can't just knock out 75 pages for one class in an hour- it takes awhile. A lot longer than pleasurable reading. Hell, I read the first Twilight book in one day- a what? 5-600 page book. One day. I could NEVER read that much for school in the same time.

I really miss Mike. Today is the 7th? 19 more days to go.

Like I said before, I have most of my stuff for Monday done...but I realized I have a pot load of German todo- a paper to rewrite- a paper to start- and a pretty long reading assignment.

Is it time to graduate yet???

The good news is I am not taking any literature classes next semester. I only have one left, but I am going to take it in the fall and give myself a break from all that business.

My tentative schedule for the Spring is:
Special Education
Instructional Technology
Instructional Strategies
Evaluation and Assessment
Diverse Students
Grammar and Usage

the first five are education course and the last is linguistics...although I won't have to read several pages of literature a night, I bet all of those classes have an insane amount of work to accomplish. Like actual written assignments.

Then in the Fall I will have 6 more classes to take and then in one year I will be getting ready to student teach.

AHHHH...then I will get a real big girl job making big girl monies...

Friday, November 7, 2008

The Busy Bee

Another long day of homework is finally put behind me. I had to polish a four page paper, prepare for an in class test in Brit Lit tomorrow, and do two different readings. Whew. Much work. One of the books is Ellen Foster which was one of my summer assignments for my junior year. I remember that I liked reading it then but couldn't remember much else. It was excellent. There were also several references that I know I couldn't have gotten then, that I do now. I like seeing connections like that.

I also finally got my butt up and managed to throw in a workout today. I feel pretty accomplished. I am so happy in life, the icing on that cake would be to get in shape and then everything in my life would be perfect.

Tomorrow starts weekend one with no Mike- I have almost all of my homework done for Monday so i won't have much to do. I hope I can read more of the 4th Twilight book.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Celebration


I think that says it all. I am so happy that I got to be apart of such a monumental day in history. I am looking forward to everything the future will bring. For a long time I didn't think I was going to vote in this election. I felt uneducated about the candidates, and the process of politics makes me rather depressed. Within my frustration I decided it wasn't worth it and swore to several people that I would not be found at the polls yesterday.

But, I got to thinking about it. I know how important events are to me. Milestones, traditions, the little things we feel nostalgic about mean more to me than the average person- I am pretty convinced. I knew I would regret looking back on this elections if I wasn't apart of it. I did some looking around and discussed some things with friends and finally made my decision.

It feels good to be on a winning team.

This is what I look like when I go vote:


I look like I am about to make a very important presidential decision. See it? Look at those eyes.

Check out that scarf. It is hot pink and lime green. My friend Stephen made it for me in like two days. It was ridiculous. I think it is awesome and is everything I would ever want in a scarf.

Mike has decided to stay out on the road until the day before Thanksgiving. When it is all said and done he will have been gone for 26 days. It isn't an ideal situation, and I am sure it is going to be really tough. However, the reward is far worth it. This way he will make more money and he will get four straight days home and guaranteed home on the holiday.

Like nerds, we have both made plans for everything we are going to do that weekend and besides the day of Thanksgiving and My mother's birthday on that Saturday- the day we are really looking forward to is Friday. Mike is going to take me on my very first Black Friday trip. I am really hoping to knock out almost all of our combined families Christmas presents. I don't know if this goal is too ambitious, but we shall see. After shopping the plan is to come home and get the Christmas celebration started. Among baking sugar cookies and putting up our tree (with the sounds of carols in the background) we are going to watch two Christmas movies that Mike has been begging to watch for almost a year now. I have been very insistent that they would have to wait. They are Deck the Halls and Unaccompanied Minors...haven't seen either...and I hope they don't disappoint.

I have been staying fairly organized with school and keeping up with all assignments and such. Not too much longer until the semester is over, and I think I have done a pretty dang good job this time around. I had my advisement appointment on Monday and it sank in just how close I am to being over. I only have twelve more classes to take which breaks down into two semesters and then I student teach. I am getting closer and closer to the end.